


Silk and Steel

by Fatebegins



Category: CW Network RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Angsty Schmoop, Bottom Jared, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Love, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Harlequin, Jealousy, Lactation, M/M, Minor Character Death, Misunderstandings, Mpreg, Non-Graphic Violence, Permanent Injury, Physical Disability, Self Confidence Issues, Top Jensen Ackles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-21
Updated: 2013-11-13
Packaged: 2017-12-30 02:17:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 34,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1012861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fatebegins/pseuds/Fatebegins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As a child, Jared was gravely injured defending a young member of his pack against a poacher. Now, he walks with a severe limp in human form, and cannot run and hunt with the other wolves in his pack. He long ago accepted that he would never mate or have a family of his own. When the pack's alpha dies without an heir, distant alpha relatives come in from out of town to compete for the title of pack alpha. One of them is Jensen Ackles. When he sees sweet, dimpled Jared, he falls hard, but Jared knows his place well. He gently brushes off all of Jensen's attempts to woo him, reminding Jensen that he owes the pack a strong, healthy mate, not a gimpy omega. Jensen makes it his mission to convince Jared that he's the perfect mate for the pack alpha, and that he's worthy of everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Usual warning, this is unbetaed so read at your own risk. If you still decide to read, point out mistakes please.
> 
> This is....just wow...i wrote another J2 multi-chapter and at this point I'm going to call the priest because i MUST be possessed, I'm rather surprised that i wrote another full story so soon but happy as well. This will be 3 chapters, the fic is sketched out and i'm just going back and writing the actual scenes.
> 
> I also feel like i must apologized for the load of fluff and sap and harlequin this will be. In my defense, i stumbled upon a J2 fic that i stupidly didn't read the warnings to...and oh gosh..how Jared suffered so badly in the first chapter before i ran screaming. I just wanted to wrap him in hugs and cotton candy and give him kisses...I wrote this to counter that lol. it's basically Jared getting wooed.
> 
> This is what happens when i begin reading my romance novels again, Brenda Joyce and Kat Martin totally made me do this!!!
> 
> hope you all enjoy!
> 
>  
> 
> xC
> 
>  
> 
> This was written in response to the spnkink_meme prompt found at (http://spnkink-meme.livejournal.com/69733.html?thread=23439973&%20#t23439973:
> 
> As a child, Jared was gravely injured defending a young member of his pack against a poacher. Because of his bravery, the girl lived a long, healthy life, but in the process of saving her, one of Jared's back legs was shattered. Now all grown up, he walks with a severe limp in human form, and cannot run and hunt with the other wolves in his pack. He long ago accepted that he would never mate or have a family of his own, and tries to content himself with being the favorite uncle of all of the other pack children.
> 
> When the pack's alpha dies without an heir, some of his more distant alpha relatives come in from out of town to compete for the title of pack alpha. One of them is Jensen. When he sees sweet, dimpled Jared, he falls hard, but Jared knows his place well. His injury would be a shame to any mate, let alone a serious contender for pack alpha. He gently brushes off all of Jensen's attempts to woo him, reminding Jensen that he owes the pack a strong, healthy mate, not a gimpy omega.
> 
> In the process of winning the title of pack alpha, Jensen is cosmetically injured. It could be a scar on his face, bite marks on his neck, ect. He comes out on top, and has earned the title. His scars are a badge of courage, and the pack recognizes them as such. Jared assumed that once Jensen won the rank of alpha, he'd stop chasing after him and go after one of the pretty young wolves bound to be lured by the alpha title, but if anything, Jensen's persuit of Jared intensifies. Whenever Jared looks up, Jensen's there with some toy, trinket, candy, ect. Eventually Jensen wears him down enough to agree to one date.
> 
> Elated at the fact that he's finally getting somewhere, Jensen makes it his mission to convince Jared that he's the perfect mate for the pack alpha, and that he's worthy of everything.

 

 **1**.

 

Jared wakes gasping, his mouth open in a silent scream of agony as he fights the weight of the blankets tangled around his legs. As he becomes aware of his surroundings, Jared’s terror fades; the cold dirt of forest floor dissolves into the softness of his quilt.

 

It’s a recurring nightmare, descending when Jared least expects it to, leaving him shaken with renewed terror. Unconsciously, Jared’s fingers find the large scar mangling his calf; he wonders when it will be over.  The twisted scar tissue that covers his leg from the knee down is prickling with phantom pain. Jared shudders, hearing the loud snap echo in his ears, the taste of his own blood as he screamed in agony and  struggled against the metal claws of the trap as it crushed his hind leg.

 

Trembling and pale faced, Jared flicks the bedside light on, grabbing a bottle of pills from the drawer as he does. He’s been taking the anti-anxiety pills for years now; they’re the only things that help to calm him after a dream as vivid as this one.  He takes two of them dry. It’s been nearly fourteen years  but Jared feels as if a day hasn’t even passed. 

What replays in his mind incessantly is the complete _normalcy_ before he was thrust into hell: the sweet smile Gen gave him as she bounded over the small bed of sunflowers; brown tail wagging enthusiastically as she dug up plants to the root. Even at three years old to Jared’s nine, she’d been his little shadow, following Jared everywhere .

A group of them, all Weres under the age of twelve, had gone to the creak to wash away the hot dust of the day near dusk.  They’d been alone, of course they had, they lived deep within werewolf territory and their parents had no cause to believe that poachers were lurking. Gen had yipped, excited to find something in the dirt, and then suddenly she was air bound, net of silver suspending her from the earth. Amongst all of the panic and chaos, Jared hadn’t thought about anything but protecting her. So while his friends ran away, Jared ran to her because even then he had known a trap like that would precede the arrival of the owner.  The sickening crunch of his bones breaking threw him into shock, the jaws of the metal trap holding him immobile as he howled, the scent of humans filling his lungs.

Because of his actions that day, little Genevieve grew into a beautiful, healthy and happy young woman. Jared hasn’t been as fortunate. The silver bear trap shattered the muscle and bone of Jared’s right leg irreparably.  He not only walks with a severe limp in human form, but he also cannot run or hunt in his Were form.  

He’s useless.

When he begins to feel drowsy, Jared knows the pills are working. Lying back against the pillows, Jared pulls the sheets up to his chin and wills himself to forget as he stares at the sliver of moon through his window.  However, despite the medication, in spite of the knowledge that the nightmare is just a memory, he feels on edge, and can’t shake the apprehension of doom that keeps him awake.

In the morning his parents call him downstairs with somber expressions and red eyes to inform him that his cousin has passed away during the night, leaving no heirs.

 

The pack is without an Alpha.

 

 **2**.

 

The funeral takes place a week after George dies, at dawn.

As a child, Jared had thought the Alpha invincible and that ideation carried on into adulthood. It’s a heavy blow to see George's body set on the funeral pyre, orange and yellow flames burning through the ceremonial white cloth he’s adorned in.  As tradition dictates, the entire pack is gathered to bid farewell to the high Alpha in poignant silence. The twenty elders of the counsel kneel before the pyre, heads bowed in a closing confirmation of reverence and respect.  Jeffrye Morgan, Jared’s uncle, is the only Were that stands, and he does so as second Alpha, facing the blazing fire, cheeks ruddy from the heat and eyes wet.

 

The final viewing of an Alpha is a social rite and everyone remains standind until all that remains of the leader are ashes. After the ceremony concludes, the time for tears does as well. They’re meant to celebrate the Alpha’s ascension into grand halls not unlike to Valhalla. People gather in the town square, parks and streets, unified under a universal loss as drinks are poured and food consumed. Stories about the late Alpha flow freely and affectionately.  Jared takes it all in, listening as his father gives his own contribution: the day George ripped out the throats of the humans, carried Jared and Genevieve back into the safe confines of their city.

 

As the sun sets, Jared begins to notice several unfamiliar faces amongst the crowd. The contending Alphas among them do not share their grief; their eyes alight with promise of future glory and acclaim. Having passed without an heir, George’s position is open to the strongest alpha that prevails in what is called the Alpha Trials. All the alphas who wish to combat will do so in a ring called the pit, fighting to concession but often times to death.

 

Some of the younger, unattached omegas already have stars in their eyes over the series of new fit men. Trying not to let his irritation show, Jared watches one of the omega sons of a town elder chat with his group of equally insipid friends.

 

“These guys are _burning_ hot.” Grant slides into the empty seat across from Jared but he’s not talking to him, course not, omegas like Grant ran in exclusive circles, and that didn’t include taking to the likes of a spinster, gimp. “I’m so happy I didn’t settle for Tom, have you _seen_ Jensen? _Mm_. so tall and muscled—and God, those eyes!”

 

“He’s perfect for you.” One of his lackeys instantly replies in the silence. “I’ve seen him look your way more than once.”

 

“His scent drives me crazy.” Grant whispers loudly as he runs a hand through his blonde hair, biting his lip in excitement. “I hope he wins; I’ve always seen myself as a pack Alpha’s mate.”

 

All Jared can think about is his cousin, whose body they burned _just_ a few short hours ago. Grant isbeing  incredibly disrespectful, not even feigning sorrow. 

 

“You should have more respect.”

 

Grant continues talking, and Jared repeats the words, this time louder.

 

Several eyes land on him, offended and filled with indignation.

 

Never one to pass up an opportunity to be a jerk, Grant faces off with him. “Are you talking to me, gimpy?”

 

Instantly, Jared's cheeks go hot with embaressment. Before he can say anything, Genevieve has materialized from thin air, angel of fury.

 

“Don’t you have anything better to do besides pant like a bitch in heat after some alpha that hasn’t even looked at you?” Genevieve tosses her dark head, eyes full of disgust. “Yeah, Bill, nice lies, but Jensen hasn’t spared Grant a glance and we all know it.”

 

“And what would you know about men, you stupid cow?” Grant narrows his eyes, “I can have any man in this city on his knees proposing in five minutes! Why are you even sticking your hooked nose into my conversation? _Little bitty Jared_ can’t defend himself? I know his leg is useless but is his mind as well?”

 

Genevieve growls, and even Jared is unsettled by it. She may be small but she’s fierce, “One more word about Jared, Grant, just one, and I will email your father that photo of you—“

 

With a shriek of indignation, Grant stomps away.

 

“I could’ve handled him.”

 

“Yes, well.” Gen’s obviously still fuming; he taunts against Jared get to her, maybe even more than they do him. “I hate that cunt.”

 

Jared grins, “Language.”

 

“I _strongly dislike_ that cunt.” Gen grins cheekily, looping an arm through his. “C’mon, Matt sent me to get you, says Jeff needs a friend.”

 

 **3**.

 

So far, Jensen is rather unimpressed with Montana. He’s used to the enormous, bustling cities of Dallas and this place is a far cry from their eight lane highways. Everything moves a bit slower up here, and Jensen feels as if he’s stepped back into some town from the fifties with the way people greet one another and the bank teller genuinely would like to know his name. He has no idea what Joshua is thinking, contending to be Alpha of a pack like this. There’s desperation and then there’s, well, stupidity.

 

After an elderly woman gleefully responds “What’s Starbucks?” to Jensen’s question, he’s forced to go to the closest Mom and Pop to get his caffeine fix. The diner is partially filled, smells like coffee and sugar, and Jensen starts to think things may not be that bad. The woman behind the register, Sharon according to her name tag , is friendly: warm and generous, she even throws in a blueberry Danish because he’s a new face. The coffee itself is strong, dark and bold, makes Jensen’s toes honest to God curl in his boots; Sharon laughs off his marriage proposal. Jensen leaves with a smile, taking his breakfast on the sidewalk as he watches people drive by.

 

There’s a picturesque park across from the diner, filled with mostly omegas and betas, young children trailing behind them. It’s so traditional, like everything else up here, and Jensen feels his heart thaw a bit. This place may not suck so badly.  He turns his head and forgets to drink his coffee.

 

There is a young omega reclining beneath a large oak tree, head bent as he furtively sketches in a large notepad. The sunlight filters in through the leaves above him, falling dappled over his thick chestnut hair and brightening his eyes. Jensen watches the young omega, coffee cup poised halfway to his lips.

 

Someone calls out to the man, a child and Jared looks up, smiling and Jensen’s eyes go to his dimples. A toddler is running to him, and Jensen hopes like hell it isn’t his. In the back of his mind, Jensen recalls suffering through many, many renditions of his father telling of how he met his mother. Love at first sight Alan had claimed. Jensen had laughed at him, rolled his eyes and chalked up the exaggerated tale of an old alpha. Now he knows better.

 

Jensen’s not sure he would call it love exactly but he’s instantly drawn to the young omega, he wants to know more about him. He wants to find out his favorite foods, how he likes his coffee, whether he enjoys sailing or gardening or …whatever. Jensen wouldn’t exactly be averse to finding out what makes him smile, or moan, or shiver. He _could_ love him.

 

Thankfully, the child is followed closely by two adults; an alpha and omega pair. The alpha is older, handsome, in late thirties judging by the scruffy salt and pepper beard. The omega is much younger, tall dark and polished with startling blue eyes.   It’s obvious they’re together by the way the alpha keeps a possessive hand on the omega’s waist.

 

Before Jensen knows what he’s doing he’s strolling over and saying hello. Three very interested pairs of eyes look at him. The blue eyed omega looks amused while the other two look guarded; the older alpha in particular.

 

“I’m new in town, wanted to say hello.”  Jensen says by way of explanation when they all continue to just stare. “I figured I should introduce myself.”

 

The alpha gives him an appraising look, “I’m Jeffrey Morgan, this here’s my mate Matthew and my nephew Jared.”

 

Giving Matt a perfunctory hello, Jensen shifts his attention to Jared and gives him what he hopes is a dazzling smile.  “Jensen.” He offers a hand and after a moment’s hesitation Jared shakes it. “Nice to meet y’all.”

 

Jared flushes, smile wary but sweet all the same. “Hello.”

 

“Nice to meet you, too.” Matt raises his brows, tone high pitched in a way that lets Jensen know his interest is very transparent. Oh well, subtlety isn’t his game. “And that little pup bunkered down on Jay’s lap is our youngest, Jude.”

 

The toddler blinks up at Jensen, one tiny hand fisted in Jared’s shirt.

 

Jensen laughs at the possessiveness from one so young, “Alpha?”

 

The mask cracks just a bit and Jeff grins fondly down at them, “Yeah, he thinks Jared’s his.”

 

“I don’t mind.” Jared lifts the baby up, blows raspberries on his cheek to make the boy's scowl melt into laughter. “Jude is my favorite little pup.”

 

“Don’t let Harlow or Brandon hear you.” Matt warns before turning to Jensen with sharp eyes, “So I’m guessing by the plaid and cowboys boots you’re not from our great little town?” Jensen nods, “Then you’re here for the Alpha trials?”

 

“Kind of, I’m in it to back my brother up during the fights. He’s lookin’ for his own pack, wants to break away from my father’s. He has this idea that he can reinvent the wheel, change how things have been done for centuries. It’s like a midlife crisis.” Jensen is not one to ramble and when he realizes he's done just that, he’s a touch embarrassed. “I shouldn’t bore ya with the details.”

 

“What’s your last name again?” Jeff asks.

 

“Ackles.”

 

Recognition dawns and some of the warmth bleeds out of Jeff’s face, “The oil wolves.”

 

Jensen hates that term, it’s never meant as a good thing. “Some folks call us that.”

 

“You two have got your work cut out for you. We’ve got country boys out here, Weres that grew up wrestlin’ and bringin’ down big game before they were even out of diapers. Oil money ain’t gonna grease the wheels.”

 

This conversation has taken an unpleasant turn; Jensen grits his teeth. “We’re trained to fight.”

 

“The trials ain’t scrimmages or whatever you got in those fancy schools of yours, they’re real fights.”

 

The other alpha is getting downright insulting, Jensen narrows his eyes. “Josh can hold his own.”

 

“... _Okay_!” Matt looks between them uneasily before scooping the protesting baby from Jared’s lap, “And on that note, we’ll be going.”

 

The Morgan’s goodbyes are awkward but the silence that follows them is even more so.

Never one to back down, Jensen sits down next to Jared on the fresh cut grass and looks over at the sketchpad thats clenched tightly in the man's hands. There’s a rough sketch of the children in the sandbox. It’s half completed but Jensen can already see how talented Jared is, how he captures the innocent joy on the children’s faces, the amusement on the parent’s watching over them.

 

“They’re not any good.” Jared folows his gaze and  shuts the book. “I’m just killing time.”

 

Jensen can smell Jared know, vanilla and cinnamon; addicting. “I like them.” 

 

“Really? I’ve only been doing it for a couple of years. Seriously, I mean.”

 

“You’ve got talent,” Jensen gives him a side long glance; “You can sketch me anytime, if you want.”

 

Jared smiles, tips of his ears turning pink and Jensen has an insane urge to touch them.

 

“So... I’m lookin’ for a supermarket, mind showin’ me around?”

 

Lies, all of it, but Jensen wants to spend more time with the omega.

 

“Sorry, I’m on break. But the Kash N Karry is just up the street.”

 

“Where do you work?””

 

“Oh, uhm, over there.” Jared points across the street to the very same homely diner boasting a gaudy pink neon sign that Jensen came from. “I’m a baker; sometimes cook; whatever my mom needs me to be.”

 

“She owns the place?”

 

Jared nods, “It’s just me and my parents, so I help out a lot.”

 

“That’s great.”

 

Jared meets his eyes briefly, and Jensen thinks he could look into that blue green forever, but before he can blurt out his best pick up line, Jared is getting to his feet clumsily. On reflex, Jensen steadies him, fingers curling over the warm skin of Jared’s wrist.

 

“Thanks.” Jared mumbles, beautiful eyes once again trained to the ground.

 

Jensen doesn’t let go, “Look, if you’re free tonight, I’d love to take you out. We could get something to eat or--”

 

“No, thank you.” Jared declines softly, but firmly. “I don’t date.”

 

“I’m not proposing anything impro--”

 

“Goodbye, Jensen.” 

 

Jensen watches him go, bewildered. Instead of the long strides he’s been expecting from Jared’s coltish legs, the omega has an uneven gait, walking with a severe limp. Halfway to the diner, a girl comes out to meet him, black cane in hand as she gestures wildly. Jared takes the cane, leaning heavily against it as he makes his way quickly inside.

 

 **4**.

 

“Sandy said she saw you speaking with an alpha in the park yesterday.”

 

Jared’s father says the words casually while they're eating dinner and Jared wants to melt into the carpet.  This is what he didn’t want: people to start gossiping about him. _Especially_ when Jensen speaking to him was nothing to gossip about; he was probably seeking to build supporters for his alpha bid. What better way to do so than by showing kindness to the resident wretch?

 

His father is persistent, like a dog with a bone. “She mentioned he was handsome to boot.”

 

“ _Dad_.”

 

“What?” Gerald blinks innocently at Jared as he cuts into his country fried steak. “You can speak to a man,Jared,  I’m _progressive_. I’m not like the stuffy sort that demand alphas ask permission before approaching my son.”

 

“He was just bein’ friendly is all.”

 

“ _Or_ he was sniffing around you.” Sharon pipes up, ever helpful. She looks equally as excited and Jared feels like a failure for being so broken that he couldn’t find a mate, if not for himself but for them. He knows his parents had been planning for his mating since he was born omega. “Jared eat more greens, you need the vitamins.”

 

Jared squeezes his fork tight, “Jensen wasn’t sniffing around me, and he’s not interested in me.”

 

The playful tone doesn‘t dissipate, “Did he say so?”

 

“Look at me, Dad, of course he’s not interested.”

 

The amusement drops and his parents fix him with mournful looks, the same ones they gave when Jared wasn’t asked to every school dance and he sat on the sofa to watch television with them.

 

“There is nothing wrong with you.” Gerald begins gruffly, “You would make a fine mate--”

 

“I know.” Jared forces a smile; he’s heard this speech so many times before.  “I’m just. I’m feelin’ tuckered out, think I’m just going to bed early.”

 

“But you barely touched your dinner!”

 

“Sherrie,” Gerald sighs, “Leave the boy be, go ahead, Jared.”

 

 **5**.

 

“Roast beef, booth 5, order up!” Sandy yells, sliding the hot plate over the counter.  “Ben came by so I had to pop out for a bit. Customer’s been waiting for a bit, try and butter him up.”

 

Right.

 

Jared swallows a retort because he knows Sandy doesn’t mean any harm by it. She wants Jared to go over because it’s unlikely he’ll be chewed out for bringing food late, being a cripple and all. Preparing for the usual pity, Jared takes the plate and concentrates on not dropping the damn thing. He’s halfway over to the back booth before he recognizes Jensen sitting there reading the paper, jean clad legs spread wide in his customary heavy boots.

 

Steeling himself, Jared slaps a smile on, sets the food down in front of him. “Sorry about the wait, the kitchen’s swamped.”

 

“No problem.” Jensen glances up, and then grins as his eyes light in recognition. “I --oh. Jared! It’s nice to see you again.”

 

It’s just his luck that after a week of avoiding Jensen successfully he comes into the diner on the day Jared’s worked since 4 am and is wearing his oldest jeans and a bulky knit sweater his mother had gifted him with last Christmas. His hair is greasy and tangled, pulled pack into a ponytail and Jared has a sneaking suspicion that he has flour on his cheek.

 

Wanting to get away, Jared politely says, “Enjoy your meal.”

 

“Wait! I didn’t know you were a waiter.”

 

“Today I am.”

 

“I’ve been meaning to try some of those desserts of yours; everyone’s just got the nicest things to say about them.”

 

“I’ll bring a dessert menu then.”

 

“No need,” Another smile, this one makes Jared’s knees weak. He wonders how freckles on a man can be so damn sexy. “Tell me what you recommend, I trust your judgment.”

 

“I made the cheesecake this morning.”

 

“That sounds good… but I’m more of a down home kind of guy, not much cheesecake in Dallas. You got any pies? I’ll even take a cobbler.”

 

“There’s pie; blueberry.”

 

Jensen’s entire face brightens and there are adorable crinkles at the corner of his glass bottle green eyes.  “I’ll have a slice of that, with some vanilla ice cream on the side if you have it.”

 

Jared nods, hoping that his mother will return and relieve him of waiter duties before that time comes.

No such luck.

At the end of the meal, when Jared brings over the slice of pie and generous scoop of ice cream, he tries to ignore the flush of pleasure that courses through him when Jensen takes a huge bite and  praises the dessert as the best he’s ever had. He makes obscene noises of pleasure as he eats, and Jared feels a primal satisfaction at having pleased him in any way; it’s his omega nature.

 

Jensen scrapes the plate clean and then leaves a twenty on the table, more than enough to cover his twelve dollar tab. “You work here every day?”

 

“Mostly just mornings, afternoons I look after my cousins.”

 

“The little pup that had a death grip on you in the park?”

 

Jared nods fondly, “And Harlow and Brandon, twins.”

 

“Must be a handful.”

 

“They are,” Jared tucks the money into his apron and beings cleaning up the table, “But I love them, even when they‘re behaving their worst.”

 

“Practicing for your own?”

 

Jared’s hands falter and a plate crashes hard into the table edge, chipping.  “I’m not going to have any, but I’m more than happy to be an uncle.”

 

Jensen frowns but other than that makes no comment on Jared‘s response. Feeling self-conscious, Jared rushes to get the dishes into the plastic bin.

 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Jay.”

 

 **6**.

 

Before the battle for Alpha is set to begin, a grand ceremony is held to introduce the contenders to the pack that will receive the victor. The outside alphas are listed by their age, accomplishments and credentials. Jared doesn’t listen to any of the elder's words until Jensen steps forward, and then he’s all ears. Jared learns that Jensen is thirty three, born in Dallas, Texas to the alpha of the largest pack in the United States and has made a considerable fortune from expanding the family business of oil into other energy alternatives. He’s the second child of five and he has a master’s in business, finance and public planning.

 

By the time the announcer is finished reading, Jared notices that he’s not the only one looking at Jensen in appreciation. In fact, several of the available omegas and betas are staring at him like he’s a piece of meat and they just broke fast.  Jared watches them primp and giggle, fluttering their lashes and giving coy looks when Jensen walks up to take his position. The ceremony breaks and everyone filters outside to the giant barbecue being thrown in the alphas honor.

 

Jared lingers near the fringe of the grounds with his father. It’s not that he’s particularly afraid of crowds, he’s just uncomfortable. His father has picked up on it since he was ten and since then, he’s stuck close whenever they had to be amongst a large group of people. So, Jared’s is next to his Dad, smiling as best he can because he doesn’t want him to feel bad. They get snickers from some of the high school kids, but Jared doesn’t mind. He’s grateful. All of his friends are otherwise occupied with their families. Chad is with his mate, a surly alpha named Christian who used to tease both Chad and Jared mercilessly when they were in school. Matt and his Uncle Jeff are embroiled in their usual antics, mainly; Matt is trying to get Jeff to make out with him. 

 

Across the lawn, Jensen is surrounded by six omegas, Grant Gustin included, and he’s the best catch in town. Grant’s touching the brim of Jensen’s black Stetson and standing closer than propriety allows. Jensen is returning the omega’s smiles and saying something that sets Grant into flirtatious laughter. Numbly Jared thinks they’ll probably end up together, they at least make sense.

 

Everyone seems to be having a grand time, and as usual Jared is on the outside looking in. No one ever asks Jared to dance, probably to spare his feelings but Jared can actually dance well, it’s easier than walking. He dances in his room; alone of course, it makes him feel normal.The band starts a stirring rendition of a well-known square dancing song, and Jared taps his foot to the rousing beat, humming along. His father claps with him but he’s stopped trying to make conversation a long time ago. Jared looks down at his converse instead, watching the frayed end of one overly long shoelace gather dirt.

 

Battered cowboy boots come into his line of sight. “Hey, Jared thought that was you.”

 

Jared looks up in surprise, “Jensen...uhm. Hi. Hello.”

 

“Ackles.” Before Jared can say anything more, his dad is standing between them, imposing. Jared wants to die of embarrassment, he’d told his dad Jensen wasn’t sniffing around him! “I've heard a lot about you.”

 

“Hope it’s all good, sir.” Jensen flashes a blinding smile and takes his hand out of his pocket to shake Gerald's.   “I hope you don’t mind but I was wonderin’ if I could borrow your son for a dance... or two.”

 

That is apparently all it takes to win his father over.

 

Gerald looks between them, grinning like a madman and Jared feels mortified at how eager he is. “Don’t mind at all.”

 

 Jensen extends a hand to him, “Dosey-dough then, Jay? What do ya say?”

 

Jared knows the smart thing to do would be to say no but he just can‘t deny himself  this small bit of normalcy. He‘s wanted to do something like this for so long, to pretend to be normal for just one night. When he’s old and alone, this will be a nice memory to hold on to.

 

“O-okay.”

 

Jensen looks surprised at his affirmative response but then smiles so wide Jared can see his molars. He pulls him to his feet, holding Jared’s entirely too close.  They’re chest to chest, Jensen’s hand on the small of his back as he leads. Jared can smell the clean pine of his aftershave, as they turn and make their way further unto the dancefloor.  Jensen spins them around faster and faster, turns sharp and executed with a finesse gained only by practice.

 

The tempo rises, Christian and his boys having joined in to amplify the bad with their guitars. People are stomping their feet, dust is rising and Jared can’t help but laugh because he’s having so much fun.

 

“I’m a country boy, dosey-doughed before I could crawl.” Jensen says against his ear, warm breath ticking Jared’s skin. “But damn, I think you’ve got me beat.”

 

Shaking sweaty hair back from his face, Jared looks at Jensen, from this close he can see caramel freckles across the bridge of Jensen’s nose, and Jared falls even more under the alpha’s spell.

 

When the song ends, they’re greeted to uproarious claps and Jared turns bright red as he realizes they’ve cleared the entire dance floor.  Over by the grill Matt is giving him enthusiastic thumbs up, Chad is behind him fellating a hotdog and pointing to Jensen and Jared is sure he’ll combust with how hrd he's blushing.

 

Trying to hide his red face, Jared allows Jensen to help him off the floor, leaning on his hand unthinkingly before his father gives him his cane. It’s then he catches Grant’s murderous look. Jared falters and drops the cane, and Jensen bends down to get it before he can.

 

“Thanks.”

 

“No problem.” Jensen grins, “You’re a great dancer.”

 

“He learned from the best.” Gerald pipes in proudly, “Look, Jared I have to head back to the diner, if you want to stay here—“

 

“No!” Jared panics at being left on his own, “I’ll go with you.”

 

“You don’t have to—“

 

“Mama will need the help.” Jared interjects firmly, “Thank you for the dance, Jensen.”

**7**.

 

All of Joshua’s clothes are spread out over the bed when Jensen comes back in from the barbeque. His brother is finishing up a phone call, holds one finger up rudely in Jensen’s direction as he yells into his blue tooth.

 

The frustration of being continually rebuffed by Jared makes Jensen short of temper. “Asshole.”

 

Josh shoots him a dark look but doesn’t reply to the insult. When the call is over, Joshua goes to the hotel room closet and drags out one of the suitcases they brought out to the bed.

 

“Where you going?”

 

“Sadie called me, and she wants to work things out. I'm headed back in Dallas.”

 

Jensen can put two and two together, “So you won’t be competing then?”

 

“There’s really no reason to do any of this shit now, Sadie’s agreed to be my mate.”

 

“So you’re going to mate to get ahead? “ Jensen snorts in disapproval. “What happened to earning your place, fighting to get what’s yours?”

 

“Don’t be so dramatic kid.” Josh ruffles his hair, and Jensen shoves him away. His brother is only a year older than him but acts like he’s so much wiser than Jensen is.  “Look on the bright side, we get to go back home and get the hell out of bumblefuck, Montana.”

 

Jensen watches his brother shove the rest of his belongings hap hazardously into a black duffle bag, whistling as he goes. He thinks of Jared, the sad resignation in his eyes. Jensen wants to make him smile, give him a family of his own, build a life with him.

 

“Maybe not.”

 

“You can‘t possibly be thinking of staying here.”

 

“Not thinking about it, I _am_ staying. I’m going to fight for what’s mine.”

 

  **8**.

 

The full moon finds Jared curled up under his porch. It’s a force of habit and if his parents saw him there, they’d be distraught. When Jared’s back leg had shattered, his life had changed irrevocably. While his heroics had saved a life, the other children only saw a cripple that couldn’t run and play with them anymore. Slowly but surely, his playmates abandoned him because he couldn’t keep up, not in his human form or his Were form. Jared thinks the latter is worst. He will never feel the exhilaration of sprinting through the frost damp forest, wind whipping through his fur as he jumps over brush and bramble. It had been so difficult to accept and the first year after his accident, instead of running with the pack, Jared had hid beneath the porch, useless leg tucked under him as he watched the normal children. His father had found him there, hours later, face lined in sorrow as he crawled under to get him. It's one of the few times Jared saw his father cry.

 

There’s been talk of an organized hunt today, something that is rarely done, but the pack elders are putting on a show for the competing alphas. Jared, unable to participate had swallowed his disappointment and told his parents he’d be fine to stay at home alone.

 

From beneath the safety of his porch, Jared watched them go, Weres of all colors and sizes, yipping and snorting with excitement as they tore out to the city limits.  Jensen had been among them, and Jared can’t help but wonder if the older man had looked for him, wondered about his absence. Worse yet, he worries about Jensen finding out the extent of his disability. As much as he’d told himself not to, Jared’s growing attached to him; it’s easy to do when Jensen comes into the dinner every day, talks to him and is so sweet.

 

Hidden from all prying eyes, beneath the porch that houses all his disappointments, Jared can give into tears of helplessness and frustration.

 

 **9**.

 

Every year Jared’s friends love to make his birthday into a big to do. Jared doesn’t have the heart to tell Chad, Matt and Gen that he would rather spend the day in bed, tucked beneath his quilt drawing. Each year reminds him of how different his life has turned out to be.  As a child, Jared had dreamt of the same thing most omegas did; an alpha, pups and love. Things had turn out so differently. He’s unmated at 23, which is almost unheard of for omegas, suffers through every heat locked in his room with some embarrassing toy he ordered online. He’d never know the feel of a real knot; never have a heat that didn’t hurt.

 

Never have children or be called Papa.

 

For years, his family and friend had all remained optimistic, said his leg didn’t make him unappealing but time has proven them all wrong. No alphas approached him except for Steven Raleigh in highschool, and he did it because he thought Jared would be desperate enough to be an easy lay.  Jared had sat and watched both Chad and Matt mate, have children as he felt empty inside.

 

“…Happy birthday to you.”  His friends and family finish singing, and a two-tiered raspberry chocolate frosted cake is placed in front of him with a flourish as applause and cheers ring out

 

Harlow, sitting on his knee, sings, “And many moooores!”

 

“Close your eyes!” Sharon croons as if Jared is still a pup. “Make a wish.”

 

Obediently, Jared closes his eyes, blows out the candles and tells himself that he’s blessed just having a group like this around him, continually supporting him and loving him. He doesn’t need anything more.

 

After cake, Jared opens presents, laughing and thanking everyone for each thoughtful gift. He gets some great things, new oil paints, clothes and books. His parents splurge and present him with a new laptop.  Jared’s in the kitchen throwing away bags of wrapping paper when the sliding door opens and Jensen steps inside looking like sex on legs dressed in form fitting black jeans and a black v-neck.

 

“Gerry invited me, hope that’s alright.” Jensen looks at the pile of trash, “Guess I was late.” He thrusts a package into Jared’s hands. “Sorry about the crazy paper…damn thing wouldn’t let me wrap it, I’m all thumbs.”

 

Jared smiles at that, touching the ragged edges of the sloppy green gift wrap. “It looks great.”

 

“No need to lie now.” Jensen ducks his head and Jared swears he can see the rugged man blushing. “Open it.”

 

Savoring the moment, Jared pulls back the wrapping paper slowly. He’s never gotten a gift from an alpha before.

 

“It’s a bound book,” Jensen explains, childlike excitement coloring his voice. “Your Dad said you illustrate stories, and I figure you could kinda write your own, you know. Do it for real. There‘s a Software CD in there too, I‘m not sure if you do digital but the place will publish it if you do; send it all official like.”

 

Running his fingertips over the cool leather, Jared’s left speechless. “It’s perfect, Jensen. I love it, thank you, really.”

 

“Good, I’m glad you do.”

 

Biting his lip, Jared tries not to hug the damn book too hard; he’s not a teenager  with his first crush. “There’s some cake left, if you want any…its chocolate with raspberry.”

 

“Nah, I’m good for now.”

 

A thought occurs to him, “When were you talking to my Dad?”

 

“We started the preliminaries,” Jensen explains. “I see your Dad and Jeff every day. In happier news, I think Jeff no longer wants to kill me.”

 

“That’s good.” Jared smiles, “He just takes some getting used to.”

 

“I don’t doubt it…” Jensen hooks a thumb behind him to the door, “I wish I could stay but training in the a.m. and all, so I better be on my way. But listen…I was hoping you would be free tomorrow night? Maybe come by mine?”

 

Jared sets the book down on the table, trying hard to resist the tears that threaten to over flow. Those words are so similar to what Steve Raleigh had said to him. Jared had gone to the house, hopeful and excited, only to be roughly touched and told he should ‘take what he can get.’

 

Sometimes his lot in life is difficult to bear.

 

“Jared?”

 

“I won’t have sex with you.”

 

Jensen's eyes widen in shock. “What the _hell_ are you on about?”

 

“I may be a cripple but I‘m not an imbecile.” The words hurt, even coming from Jared’s own tongue.  “This present, coming by your place at night. You wouldn’t be after anything more than a quick roll in the hay.”

 

The bewilderment only grows, “ _Or_ there’s a Die Hard marathon on that I thought you’d like.”

 

“Stop pretending like it’s not just about a fling.”

 

“I‘m not pretending, Jared. Far as I can see you‘re doin’ that well enough for the both of us. I say what I mean, and I’ve told you I would genuinely like to know you. Several times in fact.”

 

Frustration leaves Jared’s voice at little more than a whimper, “Why?”

 

“Why?”

 

“Yes, _Jensen_ , why? You can’t be looking for more than sex. You’re in town to compete to be the new Alpha. You owe the pack a strong mate, one who is _whole_ and _healthy.”_ Bitterness makes Jared's voice shake. “Not an omega like me.”

 

Jensen looks at him, expression colored with sympathy and something more but he doesn’t deny it.

 

Jared needs to get out.

 

As quickly as he can manage, Jared rushes to the hall closet, clutching his coat around him protectively. He can feel the familiar ache that has long become a part of him and he resents it so much.

 

“Jared--”

 

“Don’t.  You may think you‘re doing me a favor but save it. Just leave me alone.”

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Jeez! This took much longer to write because i just kept adding and adding, then i was going to split it and make the story 4 parts, then i decided to plow through....here i am 6 hours later!
> 
> Hope you enjoy! I love reading comments and reactions! So make me happy ;)
> 
> xC

**10**.

 

The late afternoon sun beats down on Jared’s shoulders making his thin cotton shirt stick to his skin with sweat. It’s exceptionally hot for late September, and in honor of that anomaly Matt’s decided to have one last pool day for the kids instead of closing the pool like he’d planned. Jared thinks he wants the pool day for himself judging by the way Matt’s dressed. He’s stripped down to ridiculously _tiny_ black swim briefs, body trim and fit even after two pregnancies in four years. Harlow and Brandon are firmly entrenched in the shallow end, throwing their plastic toys and chasing one another with giant, colored foam noodles.  Luckily, for once, Jude is content to kick his little legs from Matt’s lap squealing whenever one of the twins laugh so he can feel included.

 

Watching Matt discretely, Jared feels a pang of jealousy at his flawless skin.  The summer is always hard to endure, everyone else can pull on shorts but Jared is stuck in jeans in 90 degree weather.  Even in the privacy of his uncle’s home Jared can’t bring himself to get into the swim trunks Matt has offered; because if he does his repulsive scar will be visible. So Jared rejects Matt’s suggestion and sits down at the pool’s edge, jeans rolled up two inches above his ankles, as far as he dare goes.

 

Matt kicks water around with his feet to splash Jude and keep him entertained before he turns to Jared, expression crafty. “So guess who’s blitzing through the preliminaries?”

 

It was only a matter of time before Matt brought him up. Jared could see how much of an effort it took for Matt to hold his tongue during lunch and wait until Jeff went upstairs.

 

“I have no idea but I bet you’re going to tell me--”

 

“Ackles comma Jensen: the _maverick_ _of the South_.” Matt replies and looks At Jared expectantly; as if this news is meant to be met with resounding applause. “No one even calls him the oil wolf anymore; he wasn’t lying about being able to hold his own. He’s kicking ass!”

 

“Bad word!” Brandon yells ears like a satellite. “Swear jar.”

 

All the money in the swear jar is collected at the end of the month, split between Harlow, Brandon and Jude and they get to spend it in the Toy Store. The initiative to catch their parent’s slipping (mostly Matt) is high.

 

“That doesn’t count, B.” Matt huffs, “And what did I tell you about listening when grownups are talking?”

 

“But you’re being _loud,_ Papa!”

 

“Maybe I’ll banish you upstairs with Daddy, how about that?”

 

That’s a fate worse than death. A look of horror fills Brandon’s face and he shakes his head emphatically, making a zipping motion over his mouth. Jeff is holed up in his study, meticulously piecing together a model airplane with tweezers.  Jared’s dumbfounded at the boring hobbies his uncle chooses to do on his day off.

 

“Anyway,” Matt turns back to Jared who has been hoping the conversation would end, “You should go to watch the Alphas train in the morning. It’s fun to see all those sweaty alphas flex their muscles--and I’m not the only one who thinks so. I’ve never seen so many single omegas and betas in one place.”

 

Even thinking about watching Jensen fight shirtless makes Jared hot under the collar. Aware of Matt’s sharp eyes, he forces himself not to squirm in his seat. He’s seen the clips on the nightly news, the alphas stripped to traditional garb of just brown linen; easily torn for a quick shift. Jensen had been featured and he’d looked gorgeous: hair wild and dirt smudged beneath his cheek, muscled and defined abdomen a beacon to every horny omega and beta watching.

 

Uneasy, Jared tries to change the topic. “So I was talking to Gen--”

 

“Speaking of Gen, she came yesterday and was falling all over herself when Jensen said hello. And he sends his regards to _you_.” Matt winks suggestively. “If I wasn’t so crazy about your blockheaded uncle, and if Jensen wasn’t head over ass for you, I think I’d try my luck.”

 

Trying not to think of his catastrophic birthday party and the completely psycho way he reacted, Jared worries his bottom lip with his teeth. “For the last time, we’re friends, Matt, barely even that.”

 

“Why aren’t you excited to have Jensen coming around?”

 

“You don’t get it...”

 

“Hey! Just because I’m mated and have kids doesn’t mean I forgot what it was like playing the mating game. I’ve had my fair share of admirers; I know the looks, the gifts…Jensen isn’t looking for a friend; trust me.”

 

“I’m not like you.” Jared tightens his fingers over his knees, fingernails cutting into the tender skin of his palm. The pain grounds him. “When alphas pay attention to me it’s not because they have visions of mating and family.”

 

 “ _Of_ _course_ it is--”

 

“No, it’s not.” Conscious of the children playing nearby, Jared lowers his voice to a whisper.  “Alphas aren’t going to saddle themselves with a crippled mate. Do you know what they do want from me? A fling. They think that because I’m like this, I’m willing to accept anything they offer, and be so grateful for the attention that I’ll roll over for them.”

 

“That’s not true.”

 

Bitter tears burn at Jared’s eyes, “Steven Raleigh.”

 

Mat frowns, “Our running back in high school?

“He was just like Jensen…in the beginning. I was stupid enough to fall for it. He invited me to his house...” Jared shudders, remembering the rough hands, the bruises he’d had at his forearm and hips afterwards. “Never again; I won’t let anyone hurt me like that again.”

 

“Steven is a lowlife asshole.” Matt’s hand falls over his, stopping Jared’s nails from gauging his flesh further.  “Did he--”

 

“Nothing happened but I learned my lesson.”

 

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

 

“I don’t know… I was embarrassed? Hurt? I just wanted to forget it ever happened.”

 

“I would’ve kicked his ass.” Matt growls and Jude stiffens in his lap, tips his head back to look at his Papa questioningly. Pressing a soothing kiss to the baby’s head, Matt stops growling but his voice is cold. “Steve has always had shit for brains.”

 

Jared doesn’t comment, instead he catches Jude’s little fingers pretending to bite them so he giggles.

 

“Jay…I know you don’t want to hear this, and you have valid reasons but…I don’t think Jensen is a terrible guy, or that he has bad intentions.”

 

“I thought the same thing with Steven.”

 

“Okay…maybe I don’t know for sure, but you’ve gotta put yourself out there, Jay.  The only way you’ll know is if you give him a chance.”

 

 **11**.

 

For the past three days, Jensen’s been by the diner every night and each time, Jared is nowhere to be found. On the third day of his absence, Jensen buckles and asks the pretty brunette waitress about him. Clearly bored, the girl says Jared’s already clocked out for the day.

 

Exhausted and sore from the day’s match, Jensen sits at his regular booth in the back picking at his bacon burger as he tries to figure out how to undo the damage he’s apparently done. Jensen’s confused as fuck. He can’t fix it if he doesn’t even know what he did wrong.

 

The bell over the door chimes and the diner is suddenly filled with the loud voices of children.  Jensen looks up from pushing his fries around his plate and his mood lightens considerably. Like an angel sent from above, Matthew Cohen is standing in front of the bakery display, his twins pushing their faces against the glass.

 

Jensen calls his name and judging by the forced smile he gets in return, Jared hasn’t been speaking too highly of him. However, unlike Jared’s evasion, Matt makes his way to the weathered red booth when he realizes there are no other seats available. The kids cram in next to him, shoving one another. Jude is trying to keep up; little legs pumping as he crawls over his siblings despite their outraged squawks.

 

When they’re seated, Jude begins to yell random noises at Jensen, which he obviously thinks are words judging by the expectant faces he makes after each one.

 

“I have no idea what he’s trying to say.” Jensen grimaces, catching the disapproving looks sent their way from customers who want peace and quiet. “Do you understand him?

 

“Course not, he‘s a baby.” Matt plops down at the end, catching Jude’s tiny hands before he can send a salt shaker flying. “You’re going to regret askin’ us over. They’re in a mood.”

 

“Yum!” Jude screeches jubilantly, and without warning grabs a handful of fries from Jensen’s plate. He brings his fist to his mouth; most of the fries falling to the table top soggy.

 

“He’s always hungry.” Harlow grumbles looking more embarrassed than her father. “ _And_ rude.”

 

“He doesn’t mean to be.” Matt lifts Jude over the twins to sit on his lap. “He’s curious, aren’t you J?”

 

Jude hums happily in response.

 

Clearing his throat, Jensen just comes out with it. “I’ve been trying to get in touch with Jared, but he’s been hard to pin down.”

 

Before Jensen can get an answer, the same brunette waitress he spoke to earlier comes over to take their order. Matt asks for three chocolate brownie sundaes and one apple crisp with vanilla ice cream.  Upon her departure, the kids hijack the conversation complaining about all the other choices of dessert they should have or could have chosen. Then Jude needs a diaper and Jensen finds himself alone with two suspicious four year olds. Jensen’s ashamed to admit it but he tries to get some information out of them but every question is met with a blank stare or a completely nonsensical response.

 

By the time Matt returns with a  presumably freshly diapered Jude clinging to him like a spider monkey, Harlow and Brandon have ice cream all over their faces and Matt’s sundae is well on its way to melting.

 

“You’ll understand what took so long when you have kids.” Matt says in response to his silent question. At the mental picture, Jensen barely stops himself from making a face.

 

“Mr. Ackles wants to know Unca Jay’s phone number.” Harlow, the traitor, announces noisily, even _after_ Jensen had said it was a secret. “But I didn’t remember the end part.”

 

Not to be outdone, Brandon says, “And he wanted to know why Unca Jared’s leg hurts him.”

 

Matt fixes Jensen with a shrewd stare, “Using innocent children now?”

 

Jensen feels a flush creeping up past his collar. “I was just _asking_ because I wanted to apologize to him and he hasn‘t been working these past few days.”

 

“He’s been doing the baking for the day in the morning before class.”

 

“Class?”

 

“Jared helps out with the daycare a few times a week.”

 

“I didn’t know that.”

 

“Of course you didn’t because apparently your informants are four year olds.” Matt begins feeding warm bits of the apple crisp filling to Jude before taking a bite for himself. “How about you just ask me, you know, an _adult_? I‘ll let you know anything within reason.”

 

“I don’t want to hurt Jared; _I swear_. There’s something about him…” Jensen trails off, combing his fingers through his hair in an anxious motion. “But every time I try and get closer to him, he freaks out. I‘ve been trying like hell to let him know I care about him…” The dopey look on Matt’s face makes Jensen stop talking.  “Can you not look at me like I’m some half drowned kitten?”

 

“You’re just so _endearing_ , and it makes me happy.”

 

“I need help here. The way Jared’s been acting, it has something to do with his leg, doesn’t it?” Jensen hesitates before he just asks what he wants to know.  “What happened to him?

 

The goofy smile melts off Matt’s face and Jensen can practically see his walls going up, “I knew that was coming.”

 

“I’m curious.”

 

“Jared’s not a science experiment to be ‘curious’ over; he’s a person, and an amazing one at that.”

 

“That’s not what I’m saying; I want to know more about him.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because I do.” Jensen snaps; he’s so tired of the distrust.  “Is that so hard to believe? Jared’s my type and I’m interested.”

                                                                                              

All antagonism dissolves, and disquiet is left in its place. “If Jared doesn’t want to talk about it…”

 

“Was he born that way?”

 

Matt considers him for a long moment before handing Harlow and Brandon four quarters each to play the vending machines at the front of the diner. When the kids leave, Matt begins to speak.

 

“Don’t make me regret trusting you.”

 

“I won’t.”

 

“Jared is a _hero_ ; he saved Gen’s life… When we were kids, humans came into pack territory; poachers. We were playing out in the woods, same as we did every day when they struck. There were hunters, and they set traps. I can remember a loud pop and then a hiss…“ Matt closes his eyes briefly, muscle in his jaw ticking. Jude makes an impatient gab for the spoon and it’s enough to break the spell. “I looked to my left and Gen was caught in net, her little legs curled up near her head… She was no bigger than Harlow or Bran and those assholes were going to skin her alive… ” Another shudder wracks him, “We were all petrified, didn’t know what to do …so we r-ran. All of us… except for Jared. He stayed and he tried to chew her out of the net, when he did his hind leg was caught in a silver bear trap…Jared was so little but he was ferocious snarling and snapping at the poachers. His bravado made them hesitate, and that hesitation allowed time for the Alpha to come.  The silver permanently damaged his legs, the scar tissue shortening its growth which is why he has a limp.”

 

By the time Matt’s finished, he has tears in his eyes and Jensen feels a myriad of different emotion; pride for Jared’s courageous actions, grief that he suffered so much as a pup, fury at humans for preying on children.

 

“That’s incredible, to risk your life like that; he’s amazing.”

 

“He is.” Matthew agrees quietly, “And the shit part is, not many people feel the same, they look down on him because of his leg; permanent injuries in our kind are almost unheard of.”

 

“What Jared did that day was heroic and admirable. Anyone who thinks his limp makes him inferior is an idiot and a jackass.”

 

“I knew there was a reason why I liked you.” Matt smiles, “Don’t give up on Jared; nothing good ever comes easy.”

“I don’t plan on it.”

 

**12.**

 

About twice a year, the entire Padalecki family gets together for one enormous dinner. Jared’s cousins, uncles and aunts all drive in to Montana and the house is packed to the rafters. The table has to expand as new members of the family are added, all of his cousins mated and procreating. Jared knows many people don’t like family gatherings but he loves seeing his relatives. Everyone brings a covered dish and small gifts and they sit down to catch up.

 

“Your hair is getting so long!” Aunt Moira pets him, same as she does every year and scolds the damn hippies for influencing his tastes. She’s nearly ninety, hair blue grey and shoulders hunched but she can still take Jared in a game of Texas Hold Em. She also slips Jared a crisp five dollar bill same as she has since he was a boy. “A handsome boy you are; you look just like my Aaron.”

 

Jared takes the praise and the five dollar bill good-naturedly; accepting kisses and hugs from his Uncle Jake and Uncle Wes. They bring their kids Carrie and Sophia; Carrie’s coming on six years old but still insists on being carried around like a baby.  Aunt Laura arrives with her husband Jed, belly once again swollen to kingdom come. Her pups, Mike and Paulie come running in after her, making a beeline for Jared. They jump on to his lap hugging him much to Carrie’s protests. Jayden, eleven to their five hugs Jared in a much more orderly fashion but he’s also waving an ipad in front of Jared’s face and exclaiming over a new high score.

 

They’re preparing to go to the table when the final guests arrive. The kids come in first, yelling out their hellos and showing off their party clothes to their equally trussed cousins. It’s strategic.

 

Aunt Moira looks at Matt critically when he walks in. “I see your child bride is alive and well, Jeffrey Dean”

 

Jared hides a smile behind his napkin, as do most others. This rivalry is infamous.

 

Matt gives a saccharine sweet smile, shucking off his light jacket. “Oh Moira, you get kinder each time I see you.”

 

“Jeffrey Dean,” Moira brushes Matt off and his Uncle looks like a deer caught in headlights. “What’s this I hear about you declining the Alpha trials?”

 

“Yeah,” Jed takes a swig of beer, “I think you would’ve done well.”

 

Awkwardly, Jeff takes a seat and settles Jude down on his lap. “It wasn’t for me.”

 

“We decided, as a family that Jeffrey wouldn’t succeed the Alpha or fight for it.” Matt interjects, never one to let an opportunity to stick it to Moira pass. “Jeff will remain second in command if the new alpha so wishes.”

 

Jared cast a questioning looking in his uncle’s direction. The room goes silent and Jared gets a whole new appreciation for the phrase ‘you could hear a pin drop’.

 

“I enjoy my work as a strategist.” Jeff finally says into the silence, “It’s what I did in the military; it’s what I’m comfortable with; being high Alpha has never been an ambition of mine.”

 

  
“Then what was the point of serving for all those years? We all knew George had no heirs, you were meant to take his place! I assumed you were interested in becoming high Alpha because you took that thankless job.”

 

“He’s only interested in being _my_ _alpha_.” Matt declares saucily, leaning over to kiss an exasperated Jeff with a loud smack on the lips. “What? It’s true, honey.”

 

Aunt Moira huffs, and everyone but Matt looks uneasy. The awkwardness ends when Jared’s second cousin Kerry-Ann begins to regal them all with tales from the bead industry. The rest of dinner passes without any awkward moments, everybody too busy stuffing themselves with steak, potatoes, pasta, and greens. Jared even tries his Aunt Laura’s questionable cornflake enchiladas, which turn out to be delicious enough that he asks for the recipe.

 

After the dishes have been rinsed and placed in the dishwasher, everybody sits down to coffee and tea, with German chocolate cake, mincemeat pies and ginger snaps. This is the part of the evening Jared looks forward to the most: sitting surrounded by his family, his little cousins curled up sleepily on his lap as the same old stories are retold and everyone laughs like it’s the first time.

 

The house is full and it makes Jared feel less empty.

 

In the peace Jared’s mind wanders, and he daydreams. He imagines Jensen sitting next to him on the multicolored hearth rug, smile warm and bright, and arm slung around his shoulders the way Uncle Jed does with Aunt Laura. For a moment Jared envisions himself in her place, pregnant and glowing with a doting mate fawning over him.  A smile plays at Jared’s lips; he just knows Jensen would be a complete mother hen, rubbing his back and cooking all his favorite foods.

 

The peace doesn’t last, it never does.

 

“…what do you think, Jay?”

 

Jared looks at his Uncle Jed vacuously; he has no idea what he’s being asked. His confusion must show on his face because Jed starts laughing, slapping his knee.

 

“I know that look, kiddo. You’ve got stars in your eyes.”

 

His cousin pounces, “Are you _finally_ interested in someone?”

 

The short-lived happiness curdles in Jared. They always act as if he chooses to be alone; he supposes it’s easier for them to think of it as a choice.

 

“No.” Jared forces himself to say. “I’m tired, ate too much.”

 

“Don‘t be so tight lipped with your own family! There _is_ an alpha.” Sharon declares and Jared wants to vanish. He should’ve known his mother wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to talk about it. She’s suffered through years of listening to other women talk about their kids and wants her turn “Jensen _Ackles,_ actually.”

 

“The _oil_ wolves?” Jed looks suitably impressed, “Nice one, Jared.”

 

“Their lineage is _spotless_ , play your cards right and we’ll have a new little one running around next year.” Aunt Moira pats her hair primly. “I had _several_ alphas trailing after me in my time.”

 

“Most of them in her head!” Gerald mutters and the room erupts in laughter.

 

“No respect for your elders.” Aunt Moira chastises but the swat she delivers to the back of his Dad’s head is affectionate. “I’m sure Jared doesn’t have that problem, beautiful as he is, looks just like my Daddy with that hair and those eyes.” This is nothing new either. “Hurry and make some beautiful babies with this alpha of yours! I don’t know how long I have on this earth.”

 

An ache forms in his belly.

 

Jared’s always yearned for kids of his own. “We’re just friends, Aunt Moira.”

 

Mercifully, instead of pushing, she turns her attention to her least favored member of the family.

 

“When are you going to have another litter?” Aunt Moira’s fixated on Matthew who’s eating all the ginger snaps covertly. She’s disliked him since he’s mated with Jeff who is basically her child as she raised him from infancy. “A _proper_ one this time, I thought the young ones could produce quintuplets.”

 

Matt turns an ugly shade of red that usually precedes a scene.

 

“And with that, we’ll get out of your hair.” Jeff calls for the twins, who have been in the den watching _The Powerpuff Girls_ for the past hour with the younger kids. It’s with much moaning that the twins do come, feet dragging. “I‘ll see you soon, Grandma.”

 

“I’d like to ride with you tomorrow," Moira says pointedly, “If that’s alright.”

 

Jeff kisses the old woman’s cheek while Matt scowls behind him. “We’ll drive you to the trials.”

**13**.

 

The Alpha trials are a remnant of the past that are seen by humans to be barbaric but the pack considers scared. The show of strength, intelligence and endurance is a fantastic sight to behold. These are the first trials in nearly two centuries.

 

Jared finds his opinion is not unlike the humans. His heart pounds as he watches the alphas being led out into the dirt packed arena. Tradition does nothing to dissipate the tense atmosphere, the very real metallic scent of blood that mixes with the earth. Beside him, Aunt Moira is chatting with his Mom miniature binoculars in hand like she’s at the fucking opera. Jared doesn’t have the luxury of being so removed, not when he’s finding how scared he is for Jensen.

 

Jensen’s first opponent is another outsider, a sable wolf from the Illinois. They’re somewhat evenly matched. The battle is drawn out and Jared is forced to watch Jensen gain bruises, forced to scent his blood spilling over the mud. Just when Jared thinks he can take no more, Jensen rapidly twists his body slamming the other wolf unto the floor. He gains the upper hand forcing the other Were to bare his belly in surrender.  Jensen is grinning as he helps the fallen Werewolf to his feet.

 

“He’s putting on a show.” Matthew whispers in his ear, and Jared realizes he’s gripping his arm rest entirely too tight.  “Don’t worry; he’ll be alright.”

 

The next matches go much the same way, as does the next.

 

With each battle Jensen looks a little more worn, blood running down his side and chest from the numerous scratches he‘s sustained, dirt smeared across his face and body. The omega in Jared admires his strength but simultaneously feels frantic at the possibility of defeat. Jared wishes he could do something, _anything_ to make sure Jensen keeps rising to his feet.

 

The names of the two alphas moving on to battle for the position of high Alpha are announced: Jensen Ackles outsider of the Dallas, Texas Pack and Steven Raleigh of the defending Montana.

 

Jared feels sick at the sight that greets him in the pit. Steve looks like he did in high school: huge; broad and tall, his shoulders like brick shit houses. Jared‘s mouth goes dry, stomach dropping as he watches the two circle one another. The past clouds his vision and all he can focus on is that Steven is going to hurt Jensen.

 

His uncle makes the call and the final combat begins.

 

Straightaway, Steven charges; fluidly shifting to a brawny grey wolf as he does. Jensen dodges the first and second blows but the third hits him dead in the chest, knocking the wind out of his lungs. Jensen’s body is flung back several feet but he doesn’t go down, instead he crouches, keeps one hand on the earth as Steven advances quickly. He strikes, huge jaws snapping, Jensen moves at the last possible second, rolling out of the way. Raleigh seizes the opportunity and aims low. His sinks his teeth into Jensen’s flank talons ripping through his flesh, and Jared swears his heart stops beating at the sound of pain. The low growl is filled with agony and Jared wants nothing more than to run down, stop the hurt but of course he can do no such thing.

 

Eyes closing, Jared tries to calm himself.  When he opens them once more, Jensen is no longer in his human form. He draws a shallow breath; his alpha is beautiful, white coat thick and gleaming, muscles coiled and honed.

 

Jensen’s fast even while bleeding heavily, and strikes with a fury. Jared watches with a mixture of pride and disbelief, as Jensen climbs the great beast’s back, digs his talons into the other wolf’s throat to bear his neck. He bares his teeth, prepared to rip open Steven’s jugular-

 

Raleigh concedes with a small yelp.

 

The match is won.

 

Blood flows liberally down Jensen’s back, matting his tawny fur to black. He sways for a moment, hind leg giving way, but then gets his footing, throws his head back and howls.

 

 **14**.

 

Amidst all of the celebration, Jared doesn’t have a chance to go near Jensen much less congratulate him.  Jensen’s swept away by the elders to be given any necessary medical attention before he’s paraded through the streets as the victor in the high Alpha‘s white robes.

 

It’s another three hours before the crowds of people outside of the diner begin to shout and point eagerly.

 

Bruised and battered as he is, Jensen is still absolutely gorgeous and commands attention. There’s a deep slash just beneath Jensen’s right eye, already scabbed over, a matching cut from his ear to collar bone.  Several scars and welts scatter over Jensen’s muscled chest and Steven had left a massive claw mark on his back. Jared’s breath falters as he looks at it, that blow had nearly brought Jensen down; killed him.

 

The pack crowds about Jensen as he walks through the streets, they marvel at his strength and prowess. Unlike Jared’s, Jensen’s scars earn him respect and admiration. The men of the pack applaud him, speak of him as legend.

 

When the parade passes the diner, Jared tries to not look up, tells himself that Jensen has forgotten whatever silly infatuation he’d had, but his stubborn heart betrays him.  Leaving the dishrag he’d been using to wipe the tables with on the counter, Jared wanders over to the door, watching the victorious alpha.

 

Jared heart sinks when Jensen continues on, laughing and accepting praise from a myriad of onlookers; basking in the attention from the pretty betas and omegas. Stomach twisting unpleasantly, Jared watches Grant run right up to Jensen and kiss him on the lips. The crowd cheers and Jensen pulls away good naturedly, but Jared notices that his hand remains around the boy’s waist.

 

At the last possible moment, Jensen turns his head and looks straight at him. Jared hates how transparent his face is; he knows every emotion he’s feeling --pain, betrayal, jealousy-- is there for him to see.

 

The benevolent smile drops off Jensen’s face, and he looks as if he’s swallowed something sour. Jared doesn’t know what he’s expecting but Jensen simply lifts a hand in acknowledgment and continues on the victory path.

 

And this, _this_ is why Jared lives the way he does; alone. He doesn’t need to hope; hope leads to disappointment and heart ache.

 

 **15**.

 

Donna Ackles can only be described as eccentric. The only child of New York socialites, she’s a self-proclaimed philanthropist and jazz singer. She’d coddled her children but Jensen, whom she believed to be her last, was especially suffocated in affection. Even after the Doctor had been proven wrong and Kyle, Tyler, Ashley and Carly had followed, Donna had a special bond with her "miracle" son. That special place afforded Jensen numerous embarrassing moments of his mother intruding on his dates, ironing his underwear, trying to spoon feed him in restaurants and insisting he be her valentine _every_ year much to his father’s chagrin.

 

Since moving out of the family estate at twenty, Jensen speaks to his Mom about once a week because it’s all he can handle.  That sounds terrible but, one conversation with Donna usually is enough to last for weeks. Lately, however, Jensen’s needed to hear her voice more, especially after a day like this one. It had started so great, he won the position of high Alpha was embraced by the community and then, of course it all went to shit. Jensen cringes as he remembers the heartbroken look on Jared’s face. Jensen doesn’t even know where that omega had come from and much less why he decided to kiss him. Worse, Jared couldn’t even go after him because he was obligated to stay the course.

 

After a long hot shower, Jensen opens up one of the celebratory gift baskets that are covering his hotel room table and floor. There’s a three hundred dollar bottle of wine in it and he grabs it, heads into the kitchen before calling his mother. She picks up on the second ring.

 

“Hey, Mom--”

 

“Oh my gosh!” Donna yells. “My little boy is getting married!”

 

“What?!” Jensen has no idea where his mother gets her ideas but once she latches on, Donna Ackles never lets go. “No, Ma. I only called to tell you that I won the position of Alpha.”

 

“I know that.” Donna waves him off, “ _Of course_ you would win, darling! I _never_ doubted it. I meant about the boy, tell me about the lovely omega that’s caught your attention. I never thought I’d see the day but when Josh returned alone, I began to think it must be more. And now-”

 

“Mom, can you not make a big deal about this? He’s--”

 

“ _He_? Oh he sounds lovely, just _lovely_.” An excited pause and Jensen can hear her yelling something to his father. When she returns, she’s breathless. “Will we be meeting your _beau_ at the crowning ceremony? Should I wear the blue gown? Carly says it makes me look like Glenda the good witch.”

 

“I don’t want to overwhelm him--”

 

“Then I’ll wear the green; avoid any witch comparisons at all. I’m not a monster in law.”

 

Jensen rubs his temples, opening the bottle of wine and pouring a generous glass. “What exactly did Josh tell you?”

 

“Nothing really, you can spill all the details. I know he must be devastatingly handsome, like those men on the back of romance novels! Flowing hair like Fabio! I bet he has Fabio hair!”

 

It’s the first time Jensen wishes Jared’s hair wasn’t long. “It’s just a guy I like, Ma.”

 

“Jensen Ross,” Donna says sternly, “You resigned from the family business; you’re the alpha of a _Montana_ pack! This _not_ just some guy.”

 

Even though Jensen shouldn’t, he can’t help himself. He leans against the cabinets, glassware in hand. “Fine you win; he’s not just some guy.  Jared is…he’s different. Quiet and gentle, and he’s got these beautiful eyes that change color from blue to green…I sound like an idiot but it’s true. And dimples! Ma, I’m falling for a grown man with dimples.”

 

“Jared.” Donna seems pleased to have a name. “Now I must make a closer inspection to make sure he’s up to snuff for my little tush grabber.”

 

Jensen turns bright red, “Please don’t mention any of that to him.”

                               

“But you were so cute! Walking around and grabbing every bottom you could see--”

 

“I was _two, Mother_! Those stories have to stay buried if you meet Jared, promise me.”

 

Donna sighs, “You’re overreacting but fine, my lips are sealed.”

 

“Good.”

 

His relief is short lived.

 

“But you have five other siblings, Jensen.” Donna reminds blithely, “Not all of them are as discrete and polished as I.”

 

Jensen groans, pouring another liberal glass of red wine; he can’t believe he’s going ask his mom for relationship advice but he can’t get Jared’s wounded eyes out of his mind. Nothing he’s tried has worked.

 

“I need your help.”

 

“Anything, darling.”

 

“It’s about Jared…”

 

 **16**.

 

Jared wishes he was anywhere but here.  He’d tried everything he could possibly think of to convince his parents to allow him to remain at home, but according to his mother, to not attend the new Alpha’s ascension is essentially a sin, especially because of his distant relation to the past alpha. So Jared had gotten dressed obediently in a black three piece suit and stood with the other members of the pack in the stadium as Jensen took the formal oath.

 

Whereas Jared is sure he looks like a child playing dress up, Jensen looks incredible even with the fading bruises and scar on his face. The slate grey suit he’s wearing molds to every lean line of his strong frame. The overhead lights hit his hair in the perfect way, making the dirty blonde locks into a golden halo. Beside him, his parents stand proudly. Donna Ackles is wearing a floor length burgundy gown, her youthful appearance drawing the attention of many men in the room, while Alan Ackles looks like a G.I. Joe character brought to life, commanding instant respect in a black suit and a burgundy ascot. His siblings, all blonde and smiley, are assembled to Jensen’s left. They’re the perfect family, a unit of beauty and flawlessness. Jared thinks Grant would fit right in.

 

Immediately following the ceremony, there’s a lavish banquet. It’s by invitation only and it’s just Jared’s luck that his parents have been gifted with three tickets. As the guests mingle, Jared sits alone at the table reserved for his family, playing with the edge of the silver and gold monogrammed napkins.

 

“There you are!” Matt sits down next to him. He’s dressed in a sleek navy suit; hair combed back and held in place with gel. Jared thinks he looks dapper. “I turned around and you were gone; apparently to slink off to this dark corner.”

 

“My leg got tired.” Jared lies, but judging by the face Matt makes, his lie is obvious. “I needed to sit down.”

 

“Jensen was looking for you.”

 

Jared shrugs; he’s been running from Jensen since they came. It’s humiliating enough that he’s spotted Donna Ackles staring at him several times in the past hour, as well as the plastic siblings. Jared’s not used to the stares his injuries bring anymore.

 

“That’s it? The high Alpha makes it a point to ask for you and you just shrug?”

 

“He probably has a question for Jeff or something.”

 

“Right; because that makes sense, Jay.” Matt gives him an exasperated look. “He’s interested in _you_ , that’s why he asked about you.”

 

“That’s not true.”

 

“Jared, any alpha would be lucky to have you; you’d make an amazing mate and father; look at how great you are with the pups, mine in particular.”

 

Jared thinks back to the parade, Jensen’s hand on Grant’s waist. “I don’t want to see him.”

 

“Well, too bad.  He’s about three steps behind you and headed your way.”

 

Panic flooding him, Jared turns around to see Jensen standing right there.

                                     

“Hello.” Jensen greets affectionately, lips quirked up in a warm and genuine smile. His tie is loosened, a tantalizing glimpse of his throat and collarbone displayed.  “I hope you two are enjoying the party.”

 

“It’s marvelous, alpha.” Matt, asshole that he is, gets up and grins, intent to abandon Jared stamped all over his face. “Well, I’ll be on my way, I think I hear Jeff bellowing for me.”

 

“Matt…” Jared calls but he’s already melted into the crowd, leaving him alone with Jensen.

 

“May I?” Jensen gestures to the empty seat next to Jared. “I feel like I haven’t had a second to breathe all day.”

 

Dry mouthed, Jared nods mutely. Jensen stands next to him in awkward silence for a moment while Jared tries in vain not to fidget under his stare.

 

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you but every time I came by the diner you weren’t in.”

 

Eyes fixed to the white tablecloth, Jared avoids all eye contact. “I’ve been really busy.”

 

“Understandable,” Jensen sits down, knee brushing against Jared beneath the table. “The reason I was coming by was… I was hoping that we could get to know one another on a more personable level. I‘m not sure how I messed up on your birthday, but I did and if I offended you, I apologize.”

 

The words are perfectly crafted to put him at ease but Jared just feels panicked. He _wants_ to believe Jensen even after seeing him with Grant and that scares the shit out of him. It‘s frightening to think he‘s becoming exactly what Steven had accused him of. His mind is intoxicated with Jensen’s scent, he wants nothing more than to move closer, nuzzle into the crook of his neck and remain for as long as Jensen will have him.

 

Jared’s own thoughts make him angry and he grabs unto that anger gratefully. “What kind of game are you playing?”

 

Jensen’s brows shoot up, “Excuse me?”

 

“I don’t fuck around.”

 

The harsh language gives Jensen pause, “I’m not saying that you do. I don’t get you at all.  What’s the harm in a few dates?”

 

“You shouldn’t be _dating_ around, especially when it’s not serious.”

 

“This talk again?” Jensen is incredulous and a little angry now. “Look, Jared, I don’t appreciate anyone, not even you, telling me what it is you think I need to be doing. I’m my own man; I can decide what’s best for me.”

 

“You’re high Alpha, you owe it to the pack to find a respectable mate and have a million alpha babies.”

 

“Why can’t that be you? You’re respectable,” Jensen’s voice waivers, “And great with kids.”

 

“I’m a _cripple_ , certainly not good enough for the high alpha.”

 

“That’s not true!” Jensen snarls and several people look in their direction.

 

Behind him, Jared watches Grant watch them. He’s blond and shiny, perfect just like Jensen is even with his newly acquired scars. They deserve one another.

 

“I don’t want to make you angry, Jensen. You’re a _great_ man.” Jared pushes away all his wants; the brief moments he’d allowed himself to picture something permanent with Jensen. “You’ll make someone very happy.”

 

“I’m going to make _you_ happy, Jared Padalecki, mark my words.”

 

 **17**.

 

Rubbing his sleepy eyes, Jared opens his front door Friday morning to get the paper and is met with something quite different.  Sitting primly on the green and gold welcome mat is a large, rainbow colored gift basket. It’s topped with a bright yellow bow steeped in glitter, a small white card attached below it with his name written across in script. Jared looks out onto the street, but there’s no one there except for the neighborhood kids playing hockey.

 

Mystified, Jared takes the card and opens it, jumping when a puff of gold glitter hits his cheek.

 

In the same script across the front it reads:  **I know you love sugar, so here’s a shit ton…but just so know, I think you’re sweet enough already. Jensen. P.S. Yes, that was extremely lame.**

 

A tiny smile breaks Jared’s frown; he’s never gotten a gift from an alpha before. The white wicker basket is filled with jolly ranchers, gummy bears, sour straws, nerds, twizzlers, skittles, M&Ms, snickers…just about every single one of Jared’s favorite candies and more. There’s even a Spiderman PEZ dispenser. It’s whimsical and wonderful.  Jared has no idea where Jensen found something like this, even less of an idea as to why he found it for him.

 

“ _Wow_.” Harlow peeks out from behind his leg in her footed pajamas, hair a mess of tangles. She had decided not to go home after their play date in the park much to Matt’s glee. It gave him an excuse to be leave all the kids at Jared’s and have a night alone with Jeff.  “Are you going to share, Unca? Daddy says you _have_ to share.”

 

Jared has no idea why Jensen would send him a gift.

 

“I want that one.” Harlow decides, pointing to the giant bag of skittles. She adds belatedly, “Please.”

 

“You haven’t even had breakfast yet.”

 

“But I can have a snack?”

 

Jared bends down and drags the giant basket inside only because he can‘t leave it sitting there. “No way, miss.”

 

Jumping up and down, Harlow follows him into the kitchen and watches him set the basket on the dining table. His mom, who’s cooking bacon and cheese omelets, nearly burns them when she stares so long.

 

Always the stalker whenever candy is around, Harlow climbs up unto a chair and gazes at the basket longingly. “Who gave you that, Unca Jay?”

 

Wishing he could lie, Jared responds. “Jensen.”

                               

Sharon practically faints in her slippers.

 

Harlow considers the basket. “I like him.”

 

**18.**

 

“…Down came the rain and washed the spider out,” Jared makes dramatic _whooshing sound_ and the little pups squeal with excitement, clapping their hands. He continues singing along with them, “Up came the sun and dried up all the rain and the itsy bitsy spider went up the spout again.”

 

“That’s a good one.” Harlow tells him, crawling up on his lap. “Let’s do it again.”

 

“We’ve done it three times already, sweetie.”

 

“I don’t mind.” Typically, Brendan supports anything his sister wants. “And Jude wants it too.”

 

Little Jude doesn’t grasp anything and really doesn’t care what the next song will be. The one year old is more concerned with chewing on the edge of his blanket while making whooshing sounds.

 

“I see Matthew is keeping you busy.”

 

Jared turns to find Jensen standing behind them; dressed in black _Adidas_ track pants and a black shirt. It’s the first sight of him Jared has seen in nearly a week. Ironically, Jared had wanted Jensen to stop paying attention to him but when it had actually occurred he’d been hurt even with the gift basket and ensuing Edible Arrangement.

 

There are two huge dogs at Jensen’s side, and the kids are instantly tripping over themselves petting them. The big dogs don’t get rowdy, just sit on their haunches and look at the kids warily.

 

“I keep asking for them, can’t resist.” Jared can’t help but smile at the two Bull Mastiffs; he’s always preferred large dogs. “These yours?”

 

“They flew in this morning.” He points to the massive black spotted dogs, “This is Ulysses, and my little lady Jupiter.” Ulysses barks at his name and the kids jump, staring at the dog in awe. “I’m taking them out for a walk before I finish packing up.”

 

“Packing?” Jared asks softly, he’s not sure how to act around Jensen now, not with the gifts accumulating in his room. “Are you going somewhere?”

 

“Yeah, I’m going to be living here now so the hotel ain’t gonna cut it. I bought a house, actually, the empty one on Rosewood. I’ve been busy with packing and stuff all week; I‘m moving in once all my furniture arrives.”

 

The house on Rosewood is a mansion: large and beautiful in a way only old houses can be. It was built by the CEO of a mining company in the 50s who was certain he’d found a silver vein. The prospect had been a bust and the house had been summarily abandoned. 

 

“Sounds like you’ve got your work cut out for you.”

 

“Yeah, and these meetings don’t make it any easier. I’m going to be up to my ears in work for a while.... I actually cut across Anderson on my run because I wanted a slice of your blueberry pie to cheer me up, didn’t know you were on break.”

 

“Matt came in with the kids, so I took them out for some air.”

 

“Great.” Jensen bends down to ruffle an outraged Brandon’s hair but the boy doesn‘t move away from Jupiter‘s side. Harlow smiles sweetly at him while Jude scowls.

 

“Uhm…” Jared notices that Jensen doesn’t have a takeout container. So he hadn’t gone to the Diner prior to coming over. “I got your gift basket and fruit...”

 

Jensen makes a noncommittal sound but nothing more.

 

“I wanted to say thank you…uhm, if it helps… I made some fresh, pie that is. This morning. You always come in for blueberry. So when we ran out I m-made some before the afternoon rush. I could get you a pie, if you‘d like”

 

“Well, thanks.”

 

“You’re welcome.”  Jared smiles timidly, “Besides, you’re the Alpha now, I better be nice to you. It‘s good for business if you keep coming back.”

 

Jensen laughs, “Bribing me with pie?”

 

“Is it working?”

 

“Maybe.”

 

Warm eyes meet his, “So there's this carnival this weekend… I was wondering if you were going?”

 

“No, I’m not.” It’s something that’s held every year and every year since he was nine Jared has remained at home. “Looks like my break is over see you, Jensen.”

 

 **19**.

 

Jensen is in the middle of a very nice dream involving Jared spread out on his sheets and covered in whip cream when he’s jerked from a sound sleep by his ringing phone.  Fumbling, and painfully hard, he answers with a mumbled hello only to be greeted by Joshua yelling about traffic and fucking cows wandering out into the local roads. 

 

Mid rant, Jensen hangs up on him and takes a cold shower. Afterwards, he pulls on a pair of sweats, eats cereal and let's the dogs out before he opens the garage door and waits for Joshua. It’s not even five minutes before he spots the moving truck.

 

And then he sees the black car leading it. He knows that car, Tyler had wrecked it two times and they’d replaced it twice; Jensen paying for the second repair when his parents refused.

 

“No.” Jensen watches in complete horror as all four of his snot nosed younger siblings file out of the Range Rover. “No fucking way.”

 

Ashley runs up to him, clearly taking her new founded position as head cheerleader far too seriously. “We’re here!” She yells, all pep and hyper. “We decided to come and support you.”

 

“As I can see.” Jensen accepts her over enthusiastic hug, watching Tyler, Kyle and finally Carly. “ _All_ of you?”

 

“We have to make sure your home has some Texas Flair!” The youngest Ackles declares. Carly is ten and her arrival had been a huge shock to them all. She spends most of her spare time watching the home and garden network, convinced that the activities she does with their mother are also her hobbies. “I brought _embroidered_ pillows!”

 

“How are you even _here_?” Jensen tugs her braid. “What about school?”

 

“It’s just the weekend and a couple of days, no biggie, tush grabber!”

 

Jensen swears, looking at Kyle and Jason. “Really, guys? You couldn’t give me a heads up?”

 

Kyle shrugs, “We can’t unpack all your shit on our own; we need some help.”

 

“And Mom said you were sniffing around an omega.” Jason adds smugly. “I wanted to see your best moves.”

 

“And I want to help you with the presents!”

 

Donna could never keep a secret.

 

Jensen looks at all their stupid smiling faces.

 

God, Matt is right; they’re the blonde Brady bunch.

 

 “I hate you guys.” Jensen says without heat, accepting Kyle’s good natured jab. “Now get to work, we only have a couple of days.

 

**20.**

 

After the candy basket and Edible Arrangement Jared is thinking it’s over; that maybe the gifts were meant to pave friendship. He hasn’t seen Jensen since that day in the park and the other man hasn’t come by the diner either. Jared is certain he must have lost interest. It’s what he wants but that doesn’t make it easier to accept.

 

So Jared’s doubly surprised when he returns from his shift to find a giant, stuffed green gorilla occupying the porch swing. The thing is so ugly and ridiculous that Jared can’t help but laugh out loud; he loves it already, even more so because it’s clutching a box of skittles.

 

There’s a note taped to the box and Jared rips it off, reads it as he eats a handful of the sugary candy

 

It reads: **Jensen won me at the carnival; I had to be his date because you refused. He was a downer without you there and talked about you the entire time. I need a name and a home :(**

 

The fact that Jensen, the same alpha who brought down twelve indestructible alphas in succession to fight his way to the top, wrote out a sad face emoticon is endearing. Jared touches the soft fur of the stuffed animal before struggling to lift the giant thing off the swing.

 

Jared has to ring the doorbell.

 

“What in the world?” His mother peers out the front door, mouth in a perfect ‘o’ of surprise. “What in the hell is that?”

 

“A Gorilla.” Jared dead pans; slipping the note into his pocket. He carries it into the living room and sets it down on the easy chair.

 

“But why is it here?”

 

“Jensen won it at the carnival; for me.”

 

“ _Did he now_.” Sharon’s disbelief vanishes and she pats the green gorilla on the head, “I think he’s cute.”

 

Jared stares at the thing over his mug of coffee; it is cute, expression ferociously silly. “Apparently, he needs a name.”

 

His mother’s laugh rings out, “I would’ve never guessed Jensen would be…”

 

“What?”

 

“Such a sentimental alpha, it’s rather endearing.”

 

“Me neither,” Jared sits down on top of the gorilla, “Any names, mama?”

 

“You’re on your own with this one.” She walks out of the room, “I’m going to make dinner before Dad gets back, meatloaf okay?”

 

Jared studies the gorilla, eats some more skittles before grinning at the vine attached to one of the Gorilla’s hands. “Hello, Tarzan.”

 

 **21**.

 

As the days pass, Jared starts to look forward to the gifts. Sometimes they’re funny, other times sweet and goofy. Jensen never mentions them when they see each other, just talks about everyday things, sometimes asking Jared out. Jared always says no, except now it’s more of a reflex. All of his good reasons for turning down Jensen are starting to look flimsy.

 

Jared finds the next package sitting under his tree in the park. It’s wrapped in blue paper and topped with a gold bow and twine. Clearly, Jensen’s wrapping skills have improved since his birthday.

 

“What’s that?” Brandon asks curiously.

 

“A present.”

 

“Just sitting here? Did the tree give it to you?”

 

Jared laughs, turning the little present over in his hands. “Something like that.”

 

As Brandon watches, Jared peels back the paper carefully, folding the scraps neatly into his pocket. It’s a book and Brandon doesn’t look impressed. As usual there’s a note, but this one is much longer:

 

**Okay, I know what you’re thinking: a book; how lame, but hear me out. This means a lot to me, so try not to laugh or anything at my attempted deep thoughts scribbled in the margins. These were my favorite stories as a kid; they taught me everything I live by. I’ve always thought about passing down the same lessons to my children. I think you’ll enjoy them.  P.S. My brother is a publisher, he’s already publishing a new edition, wants to add illustrations. Know any illustrators? -- Jensen.**

 

It’s a battered copy of American Short Stories. Jared opens the book, flipping to the earmarked story: _The blanket_. He’s been told this story as a child, except his father had told him the story of the wooden bowl. In that version there was no cloth or blanket: the old man, whose table manners are not liked by the daughter-in-law, is given a wooden bowl to eat from in a corner of the kitchen, the little boy carves another bowl and explains to his father "I am making a bowl to give you, Daddy, when you get old, and I put you out in the kitchen to eat."

 

There’s handwriting in the margins of the book, childish scrawl mixed among the confident print of an adult; both are Jensen. He’s written about the importance of loyalty, honoring your elders and family. There are several thoughts jotted down as well, and Jared reads them voraciously; they chronicle his insecurities, fears and failures. The insight is invaluable; Jared has always viewed Jensen as a confident alpha; unshakeable. To learn that he is wrong is a comfort; it makes Jensen into a real person.

 

**22.**

 

The final gift leaves Jared in tears.

 

After Jared’s injury, he’d been hospitalized for close to a month, closely monitored by Doctors as his body tried to fight off the infection of Silver. When he had been released, Jared hadn’t had anything to occupy his time. His few remaining friends were in school for the majority of the day. Jared was often left in his room alone with no one but his parents for company. Mom and Dad would alternate shifts at the diner, one always remaining with him, but that hadn’t been enough. Jared had felt rejected, isolated and shunned.

 

Depression had set in thick and suffocating, and soon Jared had been carted to therapy. None of the therapists had helped and just as his parents reached their wit’s end, a new therapist was recommended by the Alpha.  Dr. Corbin had been kind, speaking with Jared like they were just having a conversation; they didn’t even talk about the accident. He had been the one to introduce Jared to painting, gifting him with a small easel on their second meeting.  Jared had fallen in love with it; painting was how he got out the confusing feeling inside of him.

 

There’s no bow on this, and Jared’s kind of glad there’s nothing to take away from its raw beauty.

  
“It’s a Utrecht Artists' Full Box French Easel.” Jensen says behind him and Jared is so startled he nearly drops his cane; he hadn’t expected Jensen to be there.  “The woman at the store assured me that it was the brand used by all the big shots. It's lightweight, but sturdy. It has plenty of storage for the tubes of paint, plus the sliding tray. Oh, and  it has a shoulder strap, so you can carry it down to the park when you paint without having to carry it in hand.”

 

“This is…” Jared skates his fingers over the oiled and polished Elmwood. “This is…”

 

Jensen looks nervous now, some of his confidence slipping and Jared recalls the bullying Jensen endured in middle school, documented in the margins of _To Build a Fore_ by Jack London. “Do you not like it?”

 

“I…” Jared squeezes his eyes shut, careful not to turn around and face Jensen.

 

He’s stupidly close to tears and no matter how hard he tries they’re slipping out and wetting his cheeks. There’s no way Jensen can know how much painting means to him, and how bereft he’d been those days alone.

 

 “Jensen do y-you like me?”

 

“I think the answer to that question would be fairly obvious.”

 

“I mean, really like me.” Throughout the pages of _A Horseman in the Sky,_ Jensen had written about his first crush, a boy named Riley with a warm smile and soft hands. He’d spoken of how hard it was to speak to him, how he wanted every word to matter. “Do you really care about me?”

 

“Again, Jared,” There’s no recrimination in his voice, only patience. “The answer is obvious.”

 

Jared bites his lip, “I need you to say it. Aloud.”

 

“I’m crazy about you.”

 

Warmth and heat crash through Jared, affection swelling to the point of bursting. “T-then… o-okay.”

 

Placing his hands on Jared’s shoulders, Jensen turns him around gently to face him, “Okay what?”

 

Jared feels shaken, and even as his instincts scream to protect himself from hurt and humiliation, he forges on because he’s starting to believe Jensen will be worth it. “You mentioned a Die Hard marathon?”

 

“That offer has expired,” A smile spreads across Jensen’s face; softening the angular lines and making him look boyish. Hesitantly, Jensen brushes his thumbs below Jared’s eyes, wiping away his tears. “But I have one that’s even better.”

 

 **23**.

 

Jared agonizes about what to wear for over an hour after he emerges from the shower. There’s no helping his unruly hair so all he can control are his clothes. He changes four times before he settles on fitted black jeans, a red flannel shirt and black converse.

 

Matt whistles when he comes out of his bedroom, and Chad yells out a hearty, “Hubba, hubba!”

 

“Go home.” Jared groans, blushing. He regrets calling Matt over in the first place. “Why are you both still here?”

 

“Because we’re best friends, and this is what we do.” Matt crows as Chad salutes. “I help you primp, pick the jeans that show off your ass best--

 

“And I,” Chad interjects, “give you a shirt that’s two sizes to small--you’ve really gotta get out of that flannel.”

 

“No.”

 

“But I have the _perfect_ v-neck--”

 

“Double no.”

 

“Hey, listen to Chad’s advice.” Matt beams, “It worked on Jeff. I swear, all it took was one look at me in that grey v-neck and he popped his knot right then and there--”

 

“Oh god, Matt, no, just no, a thousand times no.” Jared makes gagging noises, “You’re talking about my uncle.”

 

“I’m just saying our methods are tested and true.”

 

 **24**.

 

When Jensen pulls up outside of Jared’s house, he’s surprised to see Jared waiting on the porch; he’d been prepared to ring the bell, do the meet and greet with his parents. Much like Jensen himself, he’s wearing dark jeans and a striped shirt, sleeves rolled up to his forearm. Jensen feels a jolt of lust when Jared stands; can’t help but appreciate the way the denim clings to his lean legs and sits low on his narrow hips. Jensen wants to forget about the whole date and keep Jared for himself, drive him back to his house and kiss every beautiful line of his body.  Of course, Jensen wouldn’t actually do anything like that but he can dream.

 

Heeding his mother’s advice to be a gentleman, Jensen steps out of his BMW and opens the passenger door when Jared begins to slowly descend the stairs, leaning heavily on his black cane. “Hey, Jared.”

 

“Hi.” Up close, Jared’s hair looks deliciously wild, wet from a recent shower, curling around his ears in adorable swirls. “I just figured…it’d be easier if you didn’t have my parent’s harping on you.”

 

“No worries.” Because Jensen’s a mere mortal, he can’t resist checking out Jared’s backside when he climbs into the car before he shuts the door behind him. “You look good.”

 

“Thanks.” Dark hair falling over his face, Jared fastens his seatbelt. “You do too.”

 

The complement is a welcome surprise and Jensen smiles as he makes his way to the driver’s seat. He puts the car in drive, heading for the main road.  They drive in silence for a few minutes Van Halen playing on Pandora. Jensen is pleased when Jared starts humming along.

 

Jared sits back in his seat. “So, uh, where are we going?”

 

“There’s a private viewing on the boardwalk, mostly local artists, but some classics. I don’t know if you‘ve heard about it…”

 

“The Lenore Exhibit?! Really?” Jared‘s entire face lights up, dimples coming out in full force. Jensen can imagine himself being a slave to those dimples in the future. “I tried to get tickets but they sold out, and it’s a closed event and all.”

 

“High Alpha here so, yeah, I may have abused my power to get us in.”

 

“This one instance of corruption can stand.” Jared beams, knee bouncing. “I can’t wait.”

 

 **25**.

 

The evening turns out to be much more entertaining than Jensen thought it would be. Not that he expected to have a bad time; he just had never been into art enough to spend a whole night in a gallery. Jared makes it bearable though, _more than_. While they sip on expensive wine and eat the dainty hors d’oeuvres, Jared fills Jensen in on the different techniques the artists use, the possible meaning in blank space or color, and the interesting histories of the older works.  The running commentary makes the time fly by and before he knows it, they have to leave for the restaurant or lose their reservations.

 

 _Cadence_ is a modern restaurant, specializing in small plates. The food is American cuisine and delicious. The conversation, although initially stilted, flows when Jensen starts talking about his crazy family. Jared eats it up, laughs uproariously with each embarrassing story. The ice is broken and Jared tries (and fails) to one up  his siblings psychotic behavior but they both agree that Jensen walking in on Kyle attempting to deep throat a banana in the bathroom takes the cake.

 

All too soon the night is over and Jensen is back where he started, parked in the Padalecki’s driveway. When he cuts the engine, Jared shoots him a skittish look but doesn’t make a move to leave.

 

“I‘m hoping I don’t sound like a kid but…you’re uh, you’re incredible.” Jensen slides closer, hand cupping the back of Jared’s neck to bring him forward. Jared looks like a colt, eyes wide, and lashes thick as he tracks Jensen’s movements. His breath ghosts over Jared’s lips making him tremble. “And I had a great time tonight.”

 

“M-me too.”

 

“So does that mean I can see you again?”

 

When Jared doesn’t reply right away, Jensen slowly leans forward and brushes his lips across Jared’s. He knows he should wait, but he can’t help himself. He can feel Jared’s sharp inhalation of breath and he loses control for just a moment, pressing his lips to Jared’s harder.

 

Remarkably, Jared doesn’t pull away, instead presses closer. Jensen runs his tongue along Jared’s soft bottom lip, coaxing him to open his mouth.  At Jared’s moan, Jensen deepens the kiss, their tongues tangling sweetly. Jensen slides his hand down Jared’s back, hauling him closer.

 

When Jensen finally ends the kiss, he looks at Jared uncertainly, licking his lips. He can still taste Jared on his tongue, and he shifts in the driver’s seat, pants growing uncomfortably tight. “Jared?”

 

“Hm?” Jared looks dazed, lips swollen and pink and Jensen wants to kiss him again, mess up that gorgeous hair and leave his mark down the long column of his neck. “W-what?”

 

“I’d like to take you out again, next week.” Unable to resist, Jensen strokes a finger over Jared’s dimple, cupping his cheek. “Okay?”

 

Jared looks at him, and Jensen holds his breath.

 

“Okay.”

 

**26.**

When Jared wakes the next day, it’s with a smile on his face. It’s been so long since Jared’s woken feeling sincerely excited about his life. He’d been content before, happy even, but there had always something missing. Jared had been resigned to being alone, to never seeing his belly swell with his own pups, but he’s always wanted more.

 

For no reason at all, Jared makes brioche French toast with fresh berry compote. He has too much nervous energy, every time he remembers the brush of Jensen’s lips, the rough scratch of his stubble against his cheek he wants to implode with happiness. If he could, Jared would’ve skipped over to the breakfast table but he can’t so he settles for whistling before bringing the food over to his parents.

 

“Mornin.’” Gerry looks at Jared over his newspaper, “Sleep well?”

 

Jared nods, grabbing the pitcher of syrup and pouring it over his French toast liberally. He’s ravenous, eating his first helping in three bites.

 

“Wow, look at all this.” Sharon exclaims, sitting down across from him. She‘s smiling and exchanging knowing looks with his father. “I take it your date went well?”

 

It‘s not as if Jared is blind, he‘d seen the light on downstairs when Jensen had dropped him off. “It went fine.”

 

“Anything you want to share?”

 

“Dad…” Jared groans, cheeks reddening, “Can we not?”

 

“What? I’m just interested in my son’s life! I can‘t be interested?”

 

 “You’ve got a smile the size of…Texas.” His mom teases.

 

The pun makes Jared groan again. “If I answer your questions will you stop embarrassing me?”

 

“Yes.” They both agree at once.

 

“Okay, Dad you get three questions.” 

 

“Was he polite?”

 

“He was very polite, Dad.”

 

“Did he treat you right?”

 

The protectiveness is heartwarming, “He was a gentleman all night.”

 

Gerry looks pleased, “Good, that‘s all I really want to know.”

 

“That’s it?”

 

“Well, we saw the kissing from the window.”

 

“Dad!” Jared is certain he will burst into flames his cheeks are that hot. “I’m not a young omega anymore! You can’t peep at the curtains.”

 

“We won’t do it again.” Sharon promises, “I was just waiting up, in case… and then you two came but stayed in the drive.”

 

“Okay, okay!” Jared resumes eating, “Just don’t do it again. I don’t want Jensen to think I have such creepy parents. I mean not until the third date at least.”

 

“So there’s going to be _another_ date?”

 

“Already asked me to the outdoor film festival.”

 

“The Hitchcock film on Gordon’s Knoll? Sounds cozy.”

 

Jared drinks his cranberry juice, trying to keep busy so he can’t answer.

 

Gerald reaches over to give him a crushing bear hug, “I like seeing you happy; you deserve to be.”

 

 **27**.

 

Jared stares down at the Thai take out containers littering Jensen’s kitchen counter. He’s never seen the logo on the boxes before and he knows every restaurant with the pack grounds; their town isn’t very big.

 

 “I thought you said you could cook, Jensen.”

 

“That was me trying to stupidly impress you.” Jensen admits shamefaced, he gestures to the trash. “I’m from Texas; all I know is steak, ribs and mashed potatoes. I tried to make a flank on the stovetop but it’s a shit ton harder than the grill. I had to toss it.”

 

Knowing that Jensen _tried_ to make something for him makes Jared flush with pleasure, “Lucky for you I like Thai food.”

 

“Good; I ordered some of my favorites. We‘re starting off with Tom yam kung nam khon which is Prawn tom yam with coconut milk and then Kaeng phet pet yang which is roast duck in red curry over jasmine rice.”

 

The foreign sounding names make Jared chuckle, “What happened to being a steak and potatoes kind of guy?”

 

Jensen flushes, “I may exaggerate just how Texas I am.”

 

“Really?” Jared teases lightly.  “I couldn’t tell from the cowboy boots and buckle.”

 

“Ouch, that was below the belt Padalecki.” Jensen begins setting the table, using Styrofoam plates and cups. “Sorry, the dishes are always the last thing I unpack for some stupid reason. I keep putting it off”

 

“It’s fine.” Jared looks down at the fragrant food, month watering.  “I could come over and help you; if you like.

 

“Yeah, _yes_.” Jensen tucks in right away, eating with gusto. Jared doesn’t.

 

“Something wrong?”

 

“I’m a vegetarian.”

 

The look on Jensen’s face is priceless and Jared can’t hold a straight face.

 

“You have a _rotten_ sense of humor!” Jensen balls up his napkin and throws it at Jared’s head, “I thought you were for real.”

 

“I had to see if you’d fall for it.” Jared takes a bite of the succulent roast duck, closing his eyes in appreciation, “Where did you order this from? It‘s incredible.”

 

“You’re going to hate me.”

 

“Why would I?”

 

“Can I just preface this by saying I am _not_ a rich brat, or spoiled or… an ‘oil wolf’.” Jensen trails off, burying his face in his hand. “I had my mother overnight it from Fusion, my favorite Thai place in Dallas. I wanted to have a backup in case dinner went horrible wrong; which it did.”

 

“That was a rich brat move,” Jared begins, and Jensen turns an even adorably brighter shade of red. “But sweet and I appreciate it. The food is delicious.”

 

Jensen smiles wide, socked foot touching Jared’s ankle beneath the table.  As they eat, Jensen talks about his new duties as high Alpha, the challenges he faces leading a group of such different Weres.

 

Surprisingly, Jensen asks Jared for his opinion on council affairs and proposals. After the shock of it wears off, Jared gives his honest opinion trying his best to help. They take dessert in the living room, the only place that’s mostly clear of boxes. Jensen puts on an Adam Sandler movie and they share bites of German chocolate cake in-between laughs and kisses.

 

The night ends as all their dates have so far, Jensen driving him home and kissing him in his driveway until he feels as if he’s walking on air.

 

 **28**.

 

“JARED!”

 

Genevieve is all over him the moment Jared walks into _Beans_ ; waving her arms in the air to get his attention like they’re in a crowded stadium and not a coffeshop. She’s come straight from yoga, still wearing her bright blue tights, hair in a messy bun.

 

“Tell me everything, Jared, and don’t you dare leave a single detail out.”

 

Dropping down into the seat next to her, Jared tries to reason with his lunatic friend. “There really isn’t--”

 

“Jared, you’re _dating_ the high Alpha, everyone is saying you are! People are talking; there is _so much_ to tell!” She slides a giant mug of steaming coffee over the table to him, “I took the liberty of ordering your favorite.”

 

The mocha cappuccino calls to him; it’s topped with whipped cream, chocolate sprinkles and caramel. Genevieve is fighting dirty.

 

“And vanilla bean scones.” Her sunny smile is devious. “So spill.”

 

“Do you want me to have a sugar induced heart attack?” Jared takes his first sip and moans at the rich chocolate taste. “You know me too well.”

 

“I’m not tricking you.” Gen pops a scone into her mouth, “This is just _exciting_ stuff, you having an alpha and all.”

 

Jared smile wanes, “It’s definitely new.”

 

“I’m all ears.”

 

“ _Fine_.” Jared gives in, snagging a scone _and_ a snickerdoodle from an outraged Gen. “What do you wanna know?”

 

“What’s he like in bed, huh?”

 

Jared chokes on his coffee, coughing as his face turns red.

 

“I’m just kidding!” Genevieve throws back her head in laughter, “You’re so high-strung.”

 

A waiter brings him a glass of water and Jared drinks gratefully. “I hate you.”

 

“No, you don’t.”

 

“Trust me I do.”

 

“You don’t because I’m going to give you the opportunity to gush all about your alpha.” She makes a square motion with her hand, encapsulating the table. “This is a _judgment_ free zone No cray-cray parents or overzealous Matt. No Chad trying to lure you into making a sex tape.”

 

Jared scowls; Gen really does know him. It has been impossible to talk about Jensen with anyone. His parents are too busy planning a wedding that’s unlikely to happen, Matt is biased and his uncle works under him. The one time Jared had tried to talk to Chad about him; his friend had suggested pouring hot wax on Jensen while wearing latex. It’s kind of what Jared expected.

 

“He’s…uhm, he’s really awesome.” Jared finally whispers, staring into his mug of cappuccino shyly. He feels silly for smiling like a dope but he can’t help it. “Really considerate and smart…well-traveled; you wouldn’t believe all the places he’s been.  I can talk to him for hours,” Jared admits lowly, “Sometimes we do talk for hours, about anything and everything…e-even my leg. I’ve never met someone who understands the way he does. His empathy is amazing.”

 

“I’m glad you can be open and honest with each other like that.” She watches him shrewdly while she toys with her straw, “So you trust him?”

 

Jared’s never thought about that before, but the answer comes easily. “Yeah, I think I do.”

 

“Nothing annoying about him?”

 

“Nope, even his vices are cute.” Jared grins, “Like…he loves watching YouTube videos, the stupid ones of cats playing the piano, babies being afraid of sneezes or the unicorn one--”

 

“Charlie!”

 

“Yup, that’s the one. Jen will watch those things and turn into a little kid, it’s so adorable.” Jared’s not surprised she knows it, “There is one thing he does I don’t like. Sometimes he smokes, but he’s working on quitting for good.”

 

A smile makes Gen’s eyes bright, and she looks at him fondly. “You light up when you talk about him.”

 

Jared’s never blushed so much in his life, “It’s involuntary.”

 

“It’s beautiful.”

 

 **29**.

 

Jensen blames it all on Mike Myers.  One moment Jensen is on the couch with Jared, innocently watching _So I Married An Axe Murderer_ and the next they’re locked together, kissing like their lives depend on it.

 

Jensen’s heart is beating rapidly, stomach doing somersaults and flips; every single clichéd thing he’s never thought would happen to him. Jared’s moving against him sinfully, making the sweetest little sounds. Each moan and whimper make Jensen want with an intensity he’s rapidly losing the ability to control.

 

“Jensen.” Jared whispers his name like a prayer, and Jensen answers the plea, kissing him harder, deeper, bruising his soft lips. “ _Please_.”

 

Jensen is addicted to him; his touch, his taste, and God, his scent. Nothing leaves him hard and aching like his omega’s touch: the heat and soft silk of it. He moans, hand sliding through Jared’s soft hair. In his arms, Jared’s trembling, fingers scratching at his back as he tugs Jensen impossibly close until their chests are flush against one another’s and Jensen can feel the tiny pebbles of Jared’s hard nipples.

 

Following Jared down over the arm of the couch, Jensen continues to respond to Jared’s hungry kisses, sucking on his tongue, committing his taste to memory. Despite his good intentions, Jensen pulls up Jared’s soft tee shirt, fingers stroking greedily over his bare skin and lithe muscle. When Jensen’s thumb brushes over Jared’s pebbled nipple, Jared shudders and moans into Jensen's mouth.

 

When Jared begins to move up against him, hips bringing their erections together, Jensen draws back, fighting for breath. “We‘ve gotta stop,” He gentles the words with soft kisses to Jared’s lips, cheeks and chin.

 

“I ...” Jared looks adorably disoriented, “Should I …go?”

 

There’s nothing Jensen wants to do more than continue kissing and touching Jared but he can only take so much. The alpha is stirring within him, demanding he jerk down Jared’s slim fitting pants and have him hanging off his knot. It wants to stake a claim on his omega. And Jensen is sure of that now. _Jared is his_ , the omega for him. The past few weeks have proven that. Even more than the attraction, they have mutual interests, similar values. Jared has a wicked sense of humor, is wonderfully creative and is nurturing.  All qualities he wants within his home.

 

“No.” Jensen’s half hard in his jeans, there‘s no discrete way to adjust himself. “I just need a minute.”

 

“Oh,” Jared blows out a breath, “Okay. I’m ... I’m really uh... Having a good time with you.”

 

The moment Jensen locks eyes with Jared he nearly loses control once more. He looks debauched, lips pink and swollen, eyes bright and hair mussed by his hands. Jensen just wants to mess him up some more, slide right down the couch and get into his jeans.

 

“Look, Jay.” Jensen thinks he must be a saint with this new founded control of his. “I don’t wanna disrespect you in anyway--”

 

“You haven’t!”

 

“Jay,” Jensen speaks plainly. “I’m hard enough to hammer nails right now. If you keep lookin' at me like that, kissin’ me and makin' those sweet little whimpers…I’ll lose control and have you right here. And I don’t want that for you…for us.”

 

Jared looks stunned for a few seconds and then he just looks embarrassed, ducking his head to hide behind his hair.

 

“I wouldn’t… I wouldn’t mind.”

 

Jared’s soft words wreck Jensen.

 

It’s Jensen’s turn to be speechless, and his dick, treacherous thing it is, goes from half-mast to full sail, even as his mind rebels. There’s no missing how turned on Jensen is and he hesitates for probably a second too long.

 

“That’s not what I want us to be.” Jensen says lowly, hand seeking Jared’s where it lays limply on his lap. He laces their fingers together, marveling at the softness of Jared’s skin. “You deserve more than just fumbling’ in the dark…hell, I may wanna light some candles and get silk sheets.” At Jared’s watery laugh, Jensen grins foolishly. “I want to treat you right.”

 

“You do.”

 

“And that means doing things the right way, courtship wise.” The flicker of surprise in Jared’s eyes hurt him but Jensen knows that one day, Jared won’t be stunned when he shows how much he cares. “I want to sit down with your folks, go through all the motions, you know? Make it official…I mean, if that‘s what you want. I‘m not presuming anything, obviously you can say no--”

 

“You want to c-claim me?”

 

Jensen kisses him slowly, pulls back until their mouths are just a breath apart. “What do you think?”

 

Jared licks his lips, and Jensen tracks the movement, knowing that he can taste him on his tongue. “I…it’s so sudden.”

 

The words sting; Jensen knows Jared’s reluctance has nothing to do with him but it can be hard to take. Jared’s watching him warily; hands framed at his face and Jensen gives a reassuring smile.

 

“I can give you time.”  Jensen says; he never expected to want to say those three little words to anyone but now he has to bite his tongue to hold them in. “If that’s what you need.”

 

“You will?”

 

“I will.”

 

 **30**.

 

Humming under his breath, Jared lets himself inside of Jensen’s house. Naively, Jensen always leaves the front door unlocked and claims he does so because there’s no crime in the pack; which technically, is true. However, Jensen leaving the door unlocked means Jared can surprise him with dinner now. They haven’t seen one another for the past few days and Jared misses him.

 

The past two months with Jensen have been a…experience. Jared’s never been in a relationship, and has had so many ideas of what one would look like. Reality is different, not bad but different. Jared’s never had to deal with worrying about a partner or texting and calling; Jensen is big on all of those things. He’s never had to worry about potential in laws or making good impressions on strangers. Jensen’s making him realizes that he’s actually been sheltered.

 

Pan of lasagna in hand, Jared shuts the front door behind him quietly with his foot wondering where Jensen has gone. He’d texted his Uncle and Jeff had said Jensen had planned on going straight home.

 

Voices catch his attention, and Jared frowns, palms going clammy. He and Jensen have never seen one another publicly, the crowds make Jared uncomfortable he just knows everyone is staring at them and wondering why Jensen is with hm. Despite his trepidation, Jared follows the sounds further into the house covered dish gripped tight. The door to the den is partially open and now Jared can make out the other voice. His stomach drops: Grant.

 

Everything in Jared screams at him to go but Jared finds himself swinging the door open, hinges giving way in silence. Two people are entwined on the couch, kissing passionately.

 

Devastating pain spears through Jared and the dish slips from his limp hand shattering on the floor. The pair spring apart, Jensen’s eyes flying open in shock when they fall on him. Grant’s eyes are smug, lips curved up in a nasty smile.

 

“Jared! No, it‘s not. ” Jensen trips to his feet, coming towards him, pleading. “ Shit, Jay. Let me explain. It’s not--”

 

“I…I should’ve called before I came.”  Jared takes a reflexive step back when Jensen tries to touch him, he wants to get away. _Needs to_. His hands are shaking badly, and there are hot tears stinging at his eyes. He refuses to let them fall. 

 

“Jared--”

 

“You really should have called.” Grant chimes, disgusted. “We were busy.”

 

“Shut up.” Jensen turns on him, snarling.  “Just shut up and get the hell out of my house!”

 

“Jensen!” Now Grant looks hurt, shock coloring his delicate features. “He has to know about us and-”

 

And that’s it.  Jared refuses to stay any longer; he’s been such a fool, a stupid, wishful idiot to believe all of the lies. Jared does what he should’ve done the moment Jensen first smiled it him. He runs.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! This Jensen just would not cooperate with me! and then i felt the pacing was too slow, and then it felt too domestic and i wanted drama, and rewrote it only to rewrite it again. Then I gave up. Sighhhhh. 
> 
> Same warnings apply, no beta and all that. Point out mistakes :)
> 
> ETA: Went through and added images that I used to inspire me while writing. Why you ask? Because, young grasshopper, just because. I own none of the pictures and they're for illustrative purposes only.

**31.**

The silence left in the wake of Jared’s departure is deafening and for a moment Jensen is completely at a loss. When Grant randomly arrived on his doorstep, yammering about some urgent information his father wanted relayed, Jensen had been caught off guard, but he’d been shell-shocked when, in the middle of delivering his long winded, nonsensical news, Grant had thrown himself across Jensen’s lap and kissed him. Surprise and fatigue is the only reason why Jensen didn’t automatically shove Grant to the floor, when he did become aware of what was happening he grabbed Grant’s forearms to push him away when he heard a crash.

 

What follows is like a scene from a bad movie. Jared standing at the door, broken plate at his feet and betrayal in his eyes and he’s apologizing, tripping over his words and ignoring everything Jensen says before he runs away.

 

Blood rushing in his ears, Jensen grabs Grant by his designer lapel and drags him out the front door. Grant goes flying, tumbling to the grass. He begins to yell about how they belong together and when Jensen ignores him, Grant starts to curse. Jensen doesn’t even hear him the only thing Jensen can focus on is getting to his car. Jared sped off without giving him an opportunity to explain.

 

“We _need_ to talk!” Grant has gotten over his upset and is now at his car, hands gripping the window. “You kissed me back, that means something! Whatever sense of chivalry or pity you feel towards Jared is completely misplaced! You’re free now and we can--”

 

“I’m only going to say this _once_ : I love Jared, I _always_ will, even if he buys your little shit show and never speaks to me again. What you did was beyond inappropriate, it was disrespectful not only to my relationship but to my station. I’m your high alpha, publicly courting, and you trespass when everyone in fucking town knows I’ve all but scent marked Jared. I’ll make sure your father hears about your actions.”

 

A glutton for punishment, Grant clutches hold of his arm. “I didn’t _do_ anything--”

 

Jensen yanks his hand free heatedly, “And another thing, you better pray Jared doesn’t get hurt due to your stupidity, because I’ll make sure you pay for every bit of misery you’ve caused him; you can take that to the bank.”

 

While Jensen’s driving he calls Jared but each call is sent to voicemail and his texts go unanswered.  So Jensen goes to the first place he thinks of: Jared’s house. Gerald answers, surprise coloring his features when he spots Jensen, but his hello is warm, certainly not the fist in the face he’s sure Gerald would greet him with if Jared was inside. Taking his ignorance as a gift, Jensen carefully avoids answering any questions, instead lying about stopping by ‘just because’ which makes Gerald laugh and say ‘you probably just missed him, he’s on his way to yours.’

 

There’s only one other place Jared would go.

 

The porch light is on at the Morgan house when Jensen pulls into the driveway. While he walks up the stairs, Jensen can see the kitchen light on as well, shadowy figures moving behind the curtains. Not surprisingly the look Matt gives him when he answers the door is murderous.

 

“No.” Matthew says pointblank before Jensen can get a word in. “You need to get the fuck out of here.”

 

“I know he’s here.” Jensen looks past him into the foyer where the light is spilling in from the kitchen; the living room is empty. “Just let me--”

 

“Jared’s a wreck and _you_ did that him.” Matthew snarls. “There’s no chance in hell I’m letting you near him.”

 

“If he doesn’t want to see me, he can tell me that himself.”

 

“I said no, asshole.”

 

Jensen straightens to his full height. “I’m not askin’ you.”

 

“All that fucking Texas, gentleman bullshit you peddle is a lie. I was an idiot for thinking you were the good guy you pretended to be.”  Matt crosses his arms over his chest, nose to nose with him. “Get off my porch; high Alpha or not, you’re a cheating bastard and I’m not letting you in.”

 

“I didn’t cheat, _I didn’t do anything_!” Jensen yells right back.  There’s nothing more that Jensen wants to do right then but hurt Matthew back, take him up on his bravado and knock him flat on his ass but he can’t. “Why would I go through the trouble of working for his trust? Why would I spend _months_ showing Jared he can trust me if I was just going to blow it all on some random piece of ass? That doesn’t make any sense.”

 

“I don’t know what your reasons are and I don‘t care.”

 

“I didn’t--”

 

“Jared _saw_ you, okay? He told me everything. _He walked in on you_ playing tonsil hockey with that third rate bitch--”

 

“Jared!” Done listening to Matthew, Jensen begins to shout into the house uncaring of the hour and Matthew’s indignation. “I need to talk to him, and if you won’t get him, I will. Jared! JARED! JAR--”

 

“Are you really going to stand out here all night and yell? Leave before I call the police!”

 

“I AM the police.”

 

“Seriously, get the fuck away…”

 

Matt stops talking when Jeff walks up behind him.

  
“Jeff.” Forcing himself to stand his ground, Jensen takes a shaky breath, trying to get some understanding from the man who’s worked closely to him for the past months.  “I need to see him, just five minutes.”

 

“Jared doesn’t want to see you.” Jeff’s eyes, while not filled with the fire and brimstone of his omega, are unyielding.  “I’m not going to force him to do anything he doesn’t want to.”

 

The thought of Jared somewhere in that house, thinking he fucked around is a heavy burden to bear. The last thing Jensen wants is to be the cause of his omega’s hurt. He only wants Jared to be happy.

 

“Just uh…” Defeat rings through him, and Jensen wants to howl at the pain he feels, “Make sure he’s all right.”

 

“I always have.”

 

 **32**.

 

“You look like shit.”

 

Pulling the blankets over his head, Jared closes his eyes against the unforgiving sunlight as Genevieve jerks the shades above his desk open. As pathetic as it is, Jared’s been in bed for the past two days, telling his parents he’s under the weather when in reality he just can’t drum up the courage to face anyone.

 

“Jay?”

 

“I’m sleeping, Gen, can you come back later?”

 

“No, I can’t. You see, you have this _adorable_ habit of ignoring my calls and texts, so now we’ve gotta do everything in person.”

 

“I’m not in the mood for this, please, just--”

 

“I know.”

 

“I figured.” Jared squeezes his eyes shut, the more people find out, the more real this becomes. Horrifically, he has a flash of Jensen and Grant strolling hand and hand down the promenade, people watching and admiring the new golden couple.  “So everyone has found out by now?”

 

Gen drops down next to him on the bedspread, tugging the sheets away to reveal his face. She sucks in a breath; Jared knows what he looks like: dark circles beneath his swollen eyes, cheeks unshaven; it’s pitiful.

 

“Oh, Jared.”

 

Jared ignores the pity in her dark eyes, evading the hug she tries to draw him in to.  “People must be talking.”

 

“I don’t know what you expect people to be talking about. Listen… I spoke with Jensen; he’s twisted up in knots--”

 

Jared scoffs.

 

“ _He is_ , and he explained what happened, at least to me. I’m not going to sit here and tell you that his word is the truth but I at least listened to what he had to say. I think…  I agree with him in that, you owe him the chance to at least tell his side.”

 

“I _saw_ them together.”

 

“He told me that part too, but his version is a bit different.”

 

“Matt doesn’t think I should talk to him.”

 

“Of course not,” Gen looks at him sharply, “Matt’s always thought of himself as your great white knight. He’s trying to protect you, but Jared you’re twenty three years old, you don’t need any protecting. If Jensen’s a liar…then _fuck_ him, it says something about Jensen, doesn’t reflect negatively on you. Either way, this limbo that you‘ve shoved yourself in to isn’t healthy.” She touches his cheek gently, “Look at you. You can’t continue like this; you know you can‘t.”

 

“I…” Tears prick behind Jared’s lids and he blinks furiously, trying to keep them at bay. “I don’t want to know. I can’t handle knowing if it’s true, and I know it’s  weak and pathetic but I can’t…I’m barely hanging on as it is. “

 

“I know it’s not easy, but you’re strong, Jared. I wouldn’t be here--I wouldn’t be alive-- if you weren’t.”

 

 **33**.

 

For over a week, Jensen’s tried everything within reason to talk to Jared but has been stonewalled at every opportunity. Short of ordering Jared to see him, there’s nothing he can do to get Jared to speak to him willingly. As the days pass, the ache inside of Jensen intensifies, Jared’s scent has disappeared entirely from his house. Jensen sits through council meetings wondering if Jared’s okay, if he’s eating enough, if he’s crying himself to sleep. Jeff offers cold comfort, responding to Jensen’s frequent inquiries with terse statements of ’Jared is okay.’

 

Everyone has advised him to give it time, give Jared space, but they’re wrong. Time is the opposite of what they need. That’s how Jensen finds himself sitting in his car outside of Sharon’s diner at 3 a.m. Friday morning. He knows that the bakery operating permit allows specific times and Jared is the only baker employed. Sure enough, at 3:05, Jared’s lanky form comes into view. He’s walking with his head down, one hand shoved in the pocket of his dark hoodie and the other on the curved handle of his cane.

 

As Jared pulls out his keys to unlock the front door, Jensen gets out of his car.

 

“Jared.”

 

At his voice, Jared goes completely still, back stiffening. He turns around, hunching in on himself defensively and the ache gets worse. Jensen takes a step forward and Jared takes one back.

 

“W-what are you doing here?”

 

“You wouldn‘t take my calls or see me, what else was I supposed to do?”

 

“You were supposed to take the hint and leave me alone.” The coldness in Jared’s voice is foreign and feels like a slap across the face. “I’m sorry you had to come all the way over here, but I don’t want anything to do with you.”

 

“You don’t want anything to do with me…” Jensen echoes hollowly.

 

“Exactly.” This Jared is a shell of his former self. “I had no right to barge into your house, it was uncalled for. Grant is a… he’s a great choice f-for you. I wish you both the very best.”

 

“You don’t mean that.”

 

“I do.”

 

“So if I were to walk away, right now, march over to the Gustins’ and ask for Grant’s hand, you’d be fine with that?”

 

Jared shudders slightly, turning away to shove the key into the lock with force. “Yes.”

 

 “You’d be fine with him in my house, _in my bed_ , having my children?”

 

“It doesn’t matter to me: what we had, whatever it was; it’s over.”

 

Jensen is furious, grabs Jared by the shoulders and spins him around to face him.  He freezes at the sight of Jared. His face is white, pale tear tracks marring his cheeks.  “So that’s it?”

 

“What else is there left to say?”

 

Jensen’s control snaps. “You’re a _coward_. I have done _nothing_ but bend over ass backwards for you…every fucking day.  I’ve done my best to prove myself, to show you that I want you and only you… _But I can’t do this for the both of us_ , Jared. I can’t be the only one putting myself out there. I need the same in return. I need you to trust me, to have a _modicum_ of faith in me.”

 

“ _Faith_? _Trust_?” The cold mask cracks, “You have the _audacity_ to ask me to have faith in you after I w-walked in on you kissing another person? “

 

“ _He_ kissed _me_ , you walked in before I could push him away, end of story.”

 

“That’s rich.”

 

“It’s the fucking truth is what it is.”

 

“And you expect me to believe that?”

 

“Yes,” Jensen holds his hard gaze, “because I would believe you, Jared, in anything; no questions asked.”

 

The words make Jared falter, his eyes flickering with doubt but he doesn’t say anything else and Jensen is tired.  He doesn’t deserve the mistrust, and if they can’t make it through this, they’d never survive in the long run. A relationship without trust is like a house built on a foundation of sand; worthless.

 

“Say something.”

 

“I don’t have anything to say.”

 

“Then I’m walking away Jared. If you don’t stand for us-- if you don’t trust me-- then I’m walking away; for good. We're over.”

 

The only sound is the crickets, the wayward cars in the distance and rousing birds. When Jensen gets no response, Jensen turns on his heel, feet moving as if they’re made of lead. He doesn’t want to walk away but there’s no way he can stay.

 

“Jensen.”

 

Jensen is nearly to his car when he hears Jared call his name, his footsteps follow. He pauses, hand above the door handle, but he doesn’t turn around.

 

“I can’t…”Jared’s voice is hoarse, clogged with emotion. “Grant said.”

 

Jensen risks a glance at Jared and most of his anger leaves him. Underneath the yellow light of the street lamps, Jared’s face is pale, eyes bloodshot with unshed tears. His hands are balled up into fists at his side, mouth bitten red.

 

“I…I’m r-ready to hear what you have to s-say.”

 

“Grant came by without invitation and claimed his father had information for me on the new public project we’re undertaking in the spring. I let him in and when we were in the living room-- and I was half asleep-- he jumped me. I should have pushed him away, I was going to, but I was in shock and before I could, you walked in.” Jensen scrubs a hand over his face wearily, “You know the rest.”

 

“You weren’t kissing him?”

 

“Fuck, no.”

 

There it is: that horrible silence again.

 

Jensen is about to give up hope when Jared finally speaks.

 

“Okay.” Jared whispers, and then repeats strongly. “I believe you.”

 

“Jay.” Relief makes Jensen euphoric and he folds Jared close, stroking his hair. “Oh baby, I’m sorry.”

 

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for.” Jared hugs him back, “I should’ve listened to you, I’m just always…I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, you know? And when I walked in last week, and saw you and Grant, it was like I was being confronted with all my insecurities.  So I ran away, and you’re right, I was a coward.”

 

“You’re—“

 

“I’ve been afraid of conflict all my life, when it comes to someone else, I  can be brave…but when it’s my feelings…my heart on the line…I  run scared.”

 

“I will never hurt you, Jared.”

 

“You’re amazing, Jensen, and everyone sees that but you look at me…like I’m worth the moon.”

 

“You _are_ worth the moon and all the stars in the sky.” Jensen cups Jared’s face in his hands and presses their lips together. He wants to erase all the self-doubt. Jared pulls away first, rests his forehead against Jensen’s as they share the air between their lips. “Come back to mine.”

 

“I can’t…” Jared sifts his fingers through Jensen’s hair, softening the denial. “I have to work.”

 

“Then I’ll come with you.”

 

“Really? You want to spend the next two hours watching me bake?”

 

Jensen kisses him again, wiping away the last of Jared’s tears.  “There’s nothing I want more.”

 

 **34**.

 

Even though Jensen is dead on his feet by the time the last batch of blueberry and cranberry muffins comes out of the oven and the morning crew shuffles in, Jensen asks Jared to come back to his. This time Jared agrees to go with him, leaving his car in the back of the diner and sliding into the passenger seat.

 

They spend most of the ride in silence, soft music on the radio playing and fingers intertwined over the black leather console. When they get inside the house, Jensen leads Jared upstairs and into his bedroom. It’s a mess and actually very humiliating.

 

There are piles of clothing on the ground amidst old take out containers, newspapers, dishes and two partially unpacked suitcases. He’s brought work home for the past few days and as a result blueprints and proposals surrounded by half-finished cups of coffee are littering both night stands and the center table.

 

“Shit.” Jensen grimaces, sweeping aside a pile of undershirts on the left side of the bedspread and fluffing the pitifully smashed pillows. “Sorry, I’m not normally this gross but uh, it’s been a rough week.”

 

“It’s fine.” Jared squeezes his hand supportively, “I know the feeling.”

 

After Jared slips beneath the covers, Jensen follows answering Jared’s silent question with a chaste kiss. “I just want to hold you.” He pulls Jared back against his chest, burying his face in the back of his neck and breathing in the comforting scent of his mate. “I haven’t been able to sleep lately.”

 

 **35**.

 

Jared wakes slowly, eyes fluttering open and adjusting to the dim room. It looks like they’ve slept the entire day away. Stretching, Jared turns, searching for Jensen instinctively and finds him propped up on one elbow, staring at him. It’s such an adorable cliché and Jared can’t stop his huge answering smile. 

 

“Hey.”

 

Jensen grins, brushing his lips over Jared’s. “Good morning…well, it’s more like good night at this point.”

 

“What time is it?”

 

“Nearing six, I guess I should be driving you back to your place soon, huh?”

 

It moves something in Jared, seeing those green eyes watching him so lovingly. Jared lets go of all his doubts and grabs his future with both hands. Jensen’s lips part with a tiny gasp of surprise when Jared kisses hard, tongue licking out to capture his taste. When Jensen doesn’t move, Jared scoots a closer, close enough that their shoulders are touching. Only wanting to please him, Jared lets his hand fall to Jensen’s thigh, feels the thick muscle tense beneath his palm.

 

“Jensen?”

 

Dark green eyes flicker open, “Yeah?”

 

“I want to stay the night.”

 

 Jensen turns his head, finally looking at him. “Do you know what you’re asking?”

 

“Yes.” Emboldened, Jared gives Jared what he hopes is a sultry, inviting smile and leans forward to kiss the corner of his mouth. “I’m not a child.”

 

Jensen lets out a stuttering breath and reaches up, his fingers sliding over Jared’s cheek.  Jared smells the arousal coming off him in waves, his omega rising to the surface, heady with the power he wields over his alpha.

 

“It won’t be just sex tonight, Jared, if I take you…I will claim you, mark you as mine.”

 

Jared bites his lip, looking at Jensen from beneath his lashes.  “I know.”

 

“You’re ready to be my omega; my mate.”

 

“It’s all I want.”

 

With a bright smile, Jensen kisses slowly, hands going to the buttons of Jared’s shirt. Jared can feel each one give as they slip through the small button holes, the cool air hitting his flushed skin. Eyes dark and hungry, Jensen pushes the material off his shoulders leaving Jared’s chest bare. “You’re gorgeous.” His thumb brushes over a nipple, it pebbles at his touch and unconsciously, Jared arches his back. “I’ve wanted you for so damn long…wanted these in my mouth every time I felt them against me. You want that, baby?”

 

 Jared moans and nods, catching his bottom lip under his teeth. "Yeah, I - please." The look in Jensen’s eyes send sparks of lust ricocheting through Jared’s veins and he can feel himself tingling between his thighs, slick pooling.  Jared’s entire body jerks forward and he can’t stop the cry that flies past his lips when Jensen’s breath ghosts over his nipple. Jensen smirks, a hand running down Jared’s shaking sides to calm him before he draws Jared into the wet cavern of his mouth and suckles.

 

It feels as if  he’s been struck by lightning , Jared’s hands go to the back of Jensen’s head, holding him in place as he draws on him in greedy pulls. Embarrassing noises and pleas are falling from his lips, and Jared’s hard and leaking in his jeans; he feels as if he can come just from this.

 

Jared can’t think past _more_. He has no idea what he wants he just knows that he needs the alpha.  When Jensen releases his nipple, it’s swollen and red, sore in the most delicious way. At Jared’s protesting whine, Jensen kisses him again, hands sliding down his back to grip his ass, pull Jared flush against his thick cock. Jared gasps; grabbing at Jensen’s shoulders desperately ripping the material off.

 

They move as one, Jensen pressing him down on his back before unbuckling Jared’s jeans. Hesitation intrudes, breaking the moment and Jared feels unsure, watching as his jeans are pulled down to his ankles and off, leaving him in just black briefs. When Jared slides up the bed, Jensen reaches out and holds him fast.  He pulls Jared up against his chest, licking and biting at the sensitive skin of Jared’s neck as his hands slid around to tease at the waistband of his underwear; dipping down into Jared’s crack and smoothing over his most intimate place. 

 

“Oh God.” Jared whimpers, knees opening, trying to give Jensen more access. His entire body is shaking, flushed with the heat Jensen provides, every cell on fire with desire and yearning. “Yeah, _yes_.”

 

“Tell me what you want,” Jensen pants, pressing broken kisses down Jared’s neck, as he drags Jared‘s briefs down just below his ass, leaving the firm mounds bare for his hands. “I’ll do anything, darlin’, whatever you want, I‘ll do.”

 

Jared likes his lips, tasting sweat and his alpha. “Take them off.” His underwear is drawn off with such force that it tears and Jensen looks sheepish. Jared’s pulse races and he laughs nervously, more aroused than afraid. Jared pulls Jensen down until they fall side by side stretched out on the bed. Jensen eyes are running over him hungrily, and Jared tries to cover his nakedness reflexively.

 

“Let me see you.” Jensen catches his hand, kisses his knuckles before leaning forward and capturing Jared’s lips in another deep kiss. “I can’t believe you’re mine…” He kisses down Jared’s chest, fingers ghosting over Jared’s skin as he descends leaving gooseflesh in their wake.

 

When Jensen’s fingers touch Jared’s naked calf, Jared freezes. “Don’t.” He tries to turn unto his side, hide the ugly scars but Jensen stops him. “I just.” Jared’s knees feel like they might buckle at any minute. “It would be better, my scars are ugly and I don‘t want you to have to look at them…”

 

“Jared.” Voice husky and low, Jensen takes his fingers and brings them to his cheekbone, to the bumpy ridge of scar tissue. “Do you find me ugly? My back? Do you think these make me repulsive?”

 

“No!” Horror wells up in him and Jared shakes his head no fervently. “I would never think that! Your scars are badges of honor. You earned them fighting your way into your position.”

 

“And you earned your scars protecting the life of a little girl who would’ve been skinned alive by poachers. Five alphas were with you, Jay, and you, a nine year old omega were the only one who fought like hell to save her.”  Jensen kisses the tips of Jared’s fingers before he draws his hand to Jared’s leg, tracing the twisted muscle and bone tenderly. “I fought for myself, you fought for another. _These_ are the real badges of honor.”

 

A tear slips out and Jensen catches it with his thumb, kisses the remaining ones away.  Jared’s never heard something so beautiful, and he knows, can see it in the alpha’s eyes; he means it. Insecurities melting away, Jared allows Jensen to turn him unto his back, kiss every inch of his skin starting from his calf to the pale rose of his nipple before he undresses fully.

 

Like all omegas, Jared has seen porn and has watched a healthy amount of it during heat. So Jared has seen an alpha cock before but never in person. Anxiety fills him; Jensen is large, thick and long, crown bulbous and swollen with arousal. It twitches at Jared’s touch and Jensen moans softly. Holding his breath, Jared slowly runs the heel of his palm up the full, velvet soft length. Jensen is murmuring encouragement above him, hand combing through his hair.

 

Heart thundering in his ears, Jared draws the head of Jensen’s cock into his mouth sucking softly and then harder based on Jensen’s broken praise. Concentrating on what he’s seen the omegas do in porn films, Jared builds a rhythm bobbing his head up and down as he grips the shaft. He looks up at Jensen as he sucks him off, watching the erotic clench of his jaw and muted moans.

 

Far too quickly, Jensen pulls him off, shoves him back against the pillows before his head dips between Jared’s legs. Intense pleasure makes Jared fist the sheets and turn his head to bite the pillow to stifle a shout. Jensen is licking and sucking at his furled entrance like it’s the most delicious thing he’s ever tasted. Jared rocks his hips up, gasping when a finger joins his tongue.

 

Jensen fingers him for a long time, using first one then two thick fingers to stretch and loosen the tight muscle. He thrusts in and out, thumb pressing down along his rim as his fingers find Jared’s prostate.  This is _nothing_ like the cold plastic toys, Jensen is hot and _real_ , all alpha as he sucks and licks at his hole, rhythm punishing and deliciously relentless. Jared is leaking wet and slick around him, body preparing to be claimed.

 

“Try and relax.” Jensen says huskily his hips move forward and Jared feels the flared head of his cock push and drag against his entrance agonizingly slow, “Easy, baby, let me in.”

 

“I’m yours.” Jared can feel the heat coming off of his body; the wet drag of him in his most intimate place right before the first thrust that breaches him. “Always yours,”

 

Jensen’s eyes get impossibly dark at the words. He leans forward and captures Jared’s mouth in a brutal kiss, tongue penetrating his mouth, mimicking what’s going on below. Unable to hold back his cry, Jared tears his mouth from the kiss and gasps as he feels himself being impaled. His body’s natural instinct is to tense against the intrusion. Jared lets out a pitiful whimper and Jensen kisses him gently, whispers words that he can’t understand to calm him as he continues to push in to the hilt.

 

“Jen.”

 

It hurts, Jensen’s big and he’s a virgin, but the burn is quickly fading to intense pleasure as Jared is aware that they’re becoming one. All the while Jensen’s pressing kisses against his face, murmuring soft words of encouragement and praise until he’s fully seated within Jared, balls pressed up against his ass.

 

“You’re doing so good, baby--fuck, you feel so good.” Jensen’s shaking with the effort it's taking to keep still inside of his lover. “Can’t wait to fuck you, make you scream and come off my cock deep in your ass.”

 

The filthy words make Jared squirm, and can feel his inner muscles contract around Jensen’s thick length

 

Jensen groans, “Just like that, fuck, squeeze me just like that.” Jensen slurs thickly, one hand moving to grip Jared’s hip, “Gotta move, baby, you ready?”

 

Unsure but loving the sensation of Jensen inside, Jared nods, “D-do it.”

 

The first slow drag out makes Jared moan, he can feel every inch of Jensen sliding out of his quivering hole. The sharp thrust back in makes him scream as Jensen hits that spot inside of him that he‘s only ever heard about. Jared throws his head back when he cries out, feels the sharp bite of Jensen’s teeth against his neck as he sets a slow, deep pace. It's too much yet not enough all at the same time.

 

Jensen catches Jared’s bottom lip with his teeth and he nips sharply, rocking his hips a little more forcefully. “Are you okay?”

 

Tilting his hips up, Jared answers without words, arching up to meet his thrusts and moaning when the movement forces Jensen inside even deeper.  All Jared can do is hang on, whimper as Jensen fucks him hard and deep, positions him to take every inch of his thick cock. He claws at Jensen’s broad back, begging for more, harder, faster, deeper. There’s still some pain but it’s buried so far beneath the pleasure that Jared’s barely aware of it.

 

“Jens-” Jared cries Jensen’s name against his lips and the controlled rhythm falters.

 

Jensen rises up unto his knees, fingers leaving bruises on Jared’s hips. He starts thrust, deep and hard, pulling Jared up to meet him. Every nerve within him is tingling and Jensen’s pushing in and out of his body, showing no signs of tiring

 

It’s too much, the feel of Jensen’s hard body, the intensity of the heat as he drives inside of him and the twinge of pain that comes with the pull of his inflating knot.

 

With a groan, Jensen thrusts deep inside of him, knot pushing inside and tying them together at the same moment his teeth sink into Jared’s shoulder, breaking the skin and creating a lifelong bond. Hot liquid spills inside of him, his alpha’s seed, and it triggers Jared’s own orgasm.  Jared can feel every jerk, every spurt Jensen’s cock gives and he shivers at the sensation of being filled, claimed and marked in such a primitive way.

 

There’s no going back, they belong to one another for life.

 

 **36**.

 

Jared wakes to Jensen watching him, the soft light of dawn filtering through the window. He stretches, feeling bruised and battered in the best way possible. There’s a deep sense of peace that comes with finally having an alpha to call _his_.

 

“Morning, darlin’.” Jensen kisses his bruised lips lightly. “How are you feeling?”

 

“Hey.” Gingerly, Jared sits up, wincing when pain shoots up his spine. He pulls the sheets up to his waist, ignoring Jensen’s amused expression. “Not bad considering.”

 

“Considering?”

 

“We…well.” Jared blushes, “We did it three times.”

 

“Still can’t say the word sex?” Jensen laughs, nuzzling the hollow of Jared’s throat affectionately. “Even _after_ last night? Come on, Jay, you’re a mated omega now, all grown up.”

 

Amused, Jared turns his head, dips down to brush his lips across Jensen’s. When Jensen tries to deepen the kiss, he pulls away, silencing any protests with a placating kiss.  “I need a shower.”

 

“I drew a hot bath, for both of us, if you don’t mind the company?”

 

“Can’t bear to be away from me?”

 

“Not even for a minute.” Jensen winks, “And I’ve got breakfast being delivered in an hour, unless you want me to rustle up something now? Are you hungry?”

 

“No,” Jared feels like shouting his happiness from the rooftops. “A bath sounds perfect.”

 

 **37**.

 

By nature, Jared is a very organized person. He has enough obstacles in his life without adding unto it, the last thing he needs is to trip over an errant pile of laundry on his way to the bathroom. He’s never been embarrassed of his tendencies until now: Jensen is in his room, in his personal space, filling the place with his scent as he goes.

 

Jared’s parents have gone out of town for a few days to visit with his Aunt Laura who gave birth to her fourth child a week ago. As there’s only a small amount of time left before Jared officially leaves home, he decides to wait for their return. His parents have been his rock for so long, it’s hard to imagine not having them just down the hall.

 

“Your room is very different from mine.”

 

“You’re not a slob.”

 

“I really am though.” Jensen grins, fingering a framed photo of Jared, Matt and Chad on the mantel. “You’re always over after the housekeeper cleans.”

 

“You have a maid?”

 

“A _housekeeper_.” Jensen corrects, “And I’ve always had one, I’m completely useless without her.”

 

“A beta?”

 

At his tone, Jensen steps back to give him a wiry grin. “She’s omega and about 3,000 years old, so cool it with the jealousy.”

 

“I still don’t like the idea of another omega in our house.”

 

“You said _our_.”

 

Jared blushes fiercely, “Well, it is now, isn’t it?”

 

“Course.” Jensen strides over and kisses him, hands settling about Jared’s waist. “Just as soon as you’re ready to cut the cord and leave mommy and daddy’s den.”

 

“Asshole.” Jared nips Jensen’s bottom lip, “It’s … difficult.”

 

“I know, I know.” Jensen whispers pacifyingly as he moves them backwards towards Jared’s neatly made bed. “But every omega goes through this, leaving home and setting off to start a family.” When the bed hits the back of Jared's knees, Jensen pulls him down onto it, arranging them so that he completely blankets Jared's back. Against his neck he says, “Don’t think of what you’re losing, and think of what you’re gaining.”

 

Jared puts his hands atop of Jensen’s when they encircle his middle, tracing the lines of his fingers. “A new life.”

 

“A new life…” Jensen kisses across his cheek until he reaches his lips. Jared turns his head kissing him back. “You know, this is kind of kinky.” Jensen moves his fingers lower, pulling up the soft material of Jared’s red Henley to touch his heated skin. “Laying in your childhood bed, making out.” He grins mischievously, “Do you think your parents are going to come home early and catch us?”

 

Jared laughs, “Shut up.”

 

“Wanna go to homecoming with me? Think I’ll make the varsity team?”

 

“ _Jensen_.”

 

“Lighten up; you know you love it.” Jensen chuckles, then stops eyes dropping past Jared.

 

With a groan, Jared watches Jensen lean over him to yank the hastily stashed stuffed animal out from beneath the bed.

 

“You kept Tarzan!” Jensen exclaims, pulling the giant stuffed animals arm. He says to the gorilla, “You sly dog, I knew you would charm him.”

 

“You’re ridiculous; I kept him under the bed the entire time!” Jared blushes, glad there’s no way Jensen can know he‘s used the damn thing as a body pillow. “It’s not like I _want_ the hideous thing.  I just couldn’t throw him out, he looked so sad.”

 

“Jay!” Jensen mock gasps, “He can hear you!”

 

Unable to help it, Jared laughs, hiding his face in Jensen’s shoulder.  “I can’t believe you’re the high alpha.”

 

“Believe it.” Jensen kisses him, “Better yet, I’m _your_ alpha.”

 

Jared touches the bite at his neck reverently. “You are.”

 

“What’s that tone for?”

 

Jared shrugs, “It’s so final, are you sure--”

 

Jensen stops him with a kiss. “Don’t say it, Jay. Every time you doubt yourself, it kills me. I can’t stand it when you think of yourself as less than what you are.”

 

“I love you.”

 

“About time you said that, jackass.” Jensen kisses the top of his head. “I thought I’d have to wait forever just to hear it.”

 

“Will I have to wait forever then?”

 

“You know I do.”

 

Jared pokes him, “Not fair, I said it, now you.”

 

“I love you, Jared Tristan Padalecki.”

 

Every cell in Jared’s body dances at the words and he hugs Jensen close, smiling as he recognizes Jensen’s scent with the new one that is now a part of his own. “Maybe high school sex in my bed would be kinky?”

 

Jensen waggles his brows, “Role playing, are we? Fine but I get to be the science geek; I refuse to be the stereotypical jock. And we’re humans, so all of that shit that comes with being--”

 

Jared laughs, peppering kisses across Jensen’s cheeks and tugging at the hem of Jensen’s black tee shirt. “Okay—”

 

“And I have huge chemistry meet this weekend; Ivy League scouts will be there and I need to be in first place or all my plans will be ruined for people school.”

 

This time Jared can’t stop his laughter, and Jensen joins him.

 

 **38**.

 

The news of Jensen and Jared’s mating spreads quickly through their close community and always the subtle one, Jensen takes out a one page announcement in the pack newspaper. That entire week, Jared can’t stop smiling and he finds new meaning in the phrase ‘I’m walking on sunshine’. He accepts the outpouring of well wishes as gracefully as he can manage.  His parents are beyond proud and his mama can’t stop crying as she watches him pack up all of his things.

 

On his last day at home, Jared spends it sitting between his parent’s on the couch, watching an _I Love Lucy_ marathon. It’s how he’s spent much of his youth. When his mother brushes his hair off his forehead absently during a commercial, a rush of tears takes by surprise. He didn’t realize until now just how much he’s going to miss them. Completely oblivious to her son’s distress, Sharon continues to munch on popcorn.

 

The doorbell rings and Gerald gets up to answer it. When he returns, Jared catches Jensen’s scent before he sees his mate.  Dressed in a navy blue suit and striped tie, it’s clear he’s just come from work. Jensen smiles at him, waving in greeting to Sharon before leaning down over the back of the chair to press a chaste kiss to his forehead.

 

Instantly, Jared calms down. “What are you doing here?”

 

“Would you believe me if I told you I was in the neighborhood?”

 

“No.”

 

“I was in the neighborhood.” Jensen flashes a winning smile, before loosening his tie and taking the vacant easy chair, waving away his father’s offer of his seat. “ _I Love Lucy_ , huh? My mom loved this show. Is this the episode where Lucy tries to fish?”

 

Sharon nods, “It’s my favorite one, and I actually used that move on Gerald here on our first date.”

 

Gerald denies it and they all laugh, because there’s a photo on the mantel of his parents on their first date, and sure enough, his mom is holding up a giant mackerel, beaming.

 

Jensen grins, “My parents have the craziest stories; my mom really put dad through the wringer when they were dating. Come to think of it, she put him through the wringer all through their mateship.”

 

“Like my old lady here.”

 

“Who exactly are you calling old?”  Sharon huffs, “I’m still _young_.”

 

“Of course you are, dear.”

 

“I can’t wait to hear all _your_ crazy stories.” Jensen settles back in his chair, “I mean, obviously we’ll be coming over often, as long as it’s okay with you. In Texas I had dinner with my parents often, I’m hoping we can continue the tradition.”

 

Sharon smiles, eyes soft and wet and it’s then that Jared realizes he’s not the only one having a hard time holding it together. “It would be our pleasure.”

 

 **39**.

 

“Are you sure this is everything? Carly has more than this stored up for her mateship and she’s _ten_.”

 

The pitiful pile of boxes looks paltry even to Jared’s gaze. “I never really collected stuff, never thought…well, you know.”

 

Traditionally, omegas began preparing for their mating by purchasing household items, toiletries, furniture, etc to adorn their new home. When Matt and his uncle had mated, it took three u-hauls for Matt to move in. All of Jared’s belongings fit in his Uncle’s F-150.

 

“I know.” Jensen helps him up the stairs, ignoring Jared’s exasperated face. “Look around, I’ll bring everything in.”

 

Jared pushes open the heavy glass front door, smiling at the ugly ceramic gnome standing to the left of the door holding a potted plant that says welcome. Jensen complains that his sister bought it for him as a gag, but he keeps just the same. It’s one of Jared’s favorite things about the house.

 

While Jensen moves the boxes, Jared occupies himself with looking around. It’s not his first time in the house but it’s his first time there as the _official_ high Omega. This house is now _theirs_. This is where their children will be raised, where they’ll celebrate their first Christmas and have family over the holidays. Jared can’t wait for his future to begin.

 

“I love this place.” Jared stares out into the large backyard where the dogs are running around after a striped ball. He can already picture a swing set, maybe a pool or a basketball court. Jared had enjoyed basketball before the accident.  “High ceilings, bay windows, lots of sunlight and plenty of room for our family to grow.”

 

“Someone told me you had a hard on for floor to ceiling windows.”

 

“Stop listening to Chad, and I do _not_.” Jared glares, “I like them.”

 

“I’m just glad you’re finally here, with me; for good.” Jensen comes up behind Jared, kisses the hollow between his neck and shoulder as his hands settle over Jared’s waist, “Now it can be a home. I can already imagine our little pups wrecking the place.”

 

Jared chuckles, leans back against him. “They’ll be well behaved.”

 

“I was a terror as a pup, gave my mom premature grey hairs.”

 

“How…is your mom? And your father as matter of fact?” Jared didn’t even stop to think about informing them of their union. “You haven’t said.”

 

“There’s nothing to say, they’re thrilled.” Jensen presses a kiss to his neck, “My mom’s shitting herself she’s so amped. They can’t wait to fly down and meet you properly. They’re going to love you.”

 

Jared watches Jensen’s fingers play against his stomach, “Do they know all about me?”

 

“You mean your leg?”

 

Hesitation makes his voice tremble, “Yes.”

 

“They know that you’re beautiful, smart, artistic, sweet and loving.”

 

“Jensen.”

 

“That’s what’s important.” Jensen insists. “Nothing else.”

 

“I don’t want them to be shocked, or. I don‘t want them to disapprove.”

 

“If it’ll put your mind at ease, then yes, they know and they don‘t think it matters. I was raised to measure a man by his actions, not appearance. They’ll do the same.”

 

 **40**.

 

It’s nearly midnight and most of the guests are drunk on eggnog, talking and laughing just a bit too loud. Jared’s never really enjoyed the biannual parties sponsored by the council before. Public gatherings had always reminded him that he was alone.  Now, however, he’s with Jensen the most gorgeous man in the room, and all of Jensen’s attention is focused on him.  It’s thrilling just how much everyone has accepted him, Jared hadn’t known what to expect but it certainly wasn’t this. The pack actually shows him the same devotion they give Jensen. The acceptance heals old wounds, takes away the pain he’s lived with since he was nine years old.

 

In the middle of his uncle speaking, Jared excuses himself to the restroom. He can’t seem to stop smiling, his cheeks literally hurt from grinning all evening. After he’s finished, he washes his hands and splashes water on his flushed cheeks.

 

Jared opens the door to leave but stops when he hears Grant’s voice. The other omega has been giving him cold glances all evening, snickering with his friends if Jared happened to look over.

 

“Jensen must feel some sort of misplaced pity for the gimp.” Grant is saying loudly, “Why else would he _willingly_ shackle himself to a cripple? Everyone feels so bad for Jensen; did you notice all the pity he was getting?”

 

“Maybe Jared’s parents have a secret fortune or something?” Logan suggests, “And he’s just waiting for one legged Jared to kick the bucket and collect.”

 

“Now _that_ makes more sense.”

 

Right, because Jensen is not a multi-millionaire oil wolf.

 

“Or maybe he’s the only omega fit to rule alongside the high Alpha.” A new voice interjects angrily; Jensen. “You’ve certainly overlooked his kindness, loyalty, courage and strength.”

 

Jared freezes, heart pounding as he listens to Jensen speak. It’s easy to revert back to before, to cower beneath the cruel taunts and words hurled at him on a daily basis.

 

“I…I was o-only kidding Jensen.” Grant whines and Jared can picture his sniveling face, “Just idle gossip, no harm or foul--”

 

“Shut the fuck up; I’ll have no speculation about my mate.”

 

Jared’s never loved his mate more.

 

Jared steps out of the bathroom, watches the surprise on Jensen’s face turn to concern before reassuring him with a smile.

 

“Grant,” Jared squares his shoulders. Jensen is right, hell; it’s about time he stood up for himself.  “You should really stop chasing after a mated alpha; it’s getting quite pathetic at this point.”

 

Jensen snorts as Grant goes beet red, his friends scurrying away. The look on his face as they stroll away hand in hand is priceless.

 

 **41**.

 

Once they get inside their house, Jensen struggles not to lose it like a prepubescent boy when Jared gives him a look of pure hunger, and to think Jensen had been worried that the little prick would hurt Jared. Smiling wolfishly at him, Jared drops to his knees at Jensen’s feet and unbuckles his belt. Jared’s warm breath passes over the leaking head of his cock, and Jensen throws his head back, leaning against the wall. The way Jared’s licking the pre-come off the head with kittenish swipes of his tongue leaves him dizzy.

 

Jensen sucks in a shaky breath, watches as Jared tentatively draw him into his hot mouth, sucking gently at first and then with more force when Jensen’s thrusts up in encouragement. There’s something undeniably hot about Jared on his knees, the flush to his cheeks, the curve of his lashes; the way he genuinely enjoys sucking his cock, like there’s nothing else he’d rather be doing. He’s no longer a fumbling virgin, but there’s still an innocence that’s titillating.

 

Moaning against him, Jared seals his mouth over the shaft, red lips stretched around Jensen’s dick, hands running over Jensen’s thighs. Jensen feels as if he’s about to explode, knot expanding painfully sweet at the base of his cock. Jared’s fingers move down to squeeze it, and Jensen curses, sparks exploding behind his eyes. His hands reach for Jared’s head, fisting in his silky hair.

 

When Jared started humming around his cock, hands fumbling into his own jeans to jerk himself off rough and quick, Jensen’s balls tighten. At his low groan, Jared starts to hum louder, vibrations making Jensen grip him close as he comes. Jared doesn’t even try to pull away, just relaxes offering up his mouth to Jensen to fuck. Hips stuttering, Jensen grips his knot hard and comes in hot spurts across Jared’s tongue. Jared swallows as much as he can but then pulls back,  letting come drip down his chin and face, all while he likes his swollen lips and stares up at Jensen like some sex siren with his exotic eyes.

 

 Jensen leans back against the wall, breathing hard. “Fuck, I think you broke me.”

 

Jared grins, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “I feel great.”

 

“Putting Grant in his place turns you on?”

 

“It’s not that.” Jared wrinkles his nose when Jensen pulls him to his feet. “Although, that look on his face was priceless.”

 

“I think he finally gets that I’m taken.” Jensen kisses his cheek, “And you’re not a doormat.”

 

“Then I made my point.”

 

 **42**.

 

. Even three months after mating, Jensen is still perfect; sweet, strong and considerate. Every morning, Jensen has coffee brewing even before Jared wakes to go to the bakery and on the days where he doesn’t work, breakfast is already on the table when Jared climbs out of bed. Although it’s usually something simple like eggs and toast. They also still go out on dates, frequenting the movies, restaurants and hiking trails. They’ve gone to museums and two more art exhibits. The magic hasn’t faded; their lovemaking is just as hot and earth shattering. Mated life is better than Jared ever imagined.

 

The one downside is that Jared hasn’t been feeling well for weeks. He’s nauseous during the day and tires easily. He’s had to come home from work early several times. Thankfully, Jensen works late frequently so he’s none the wiser to Jared’s infirmities. If he was he’d be clucking over Jared like a mother hen. So Jared takes care of it on his own, having Chad squeeze him in for a check- up at the last minute.

 

Chad comes into the room and Jared puts down the magazine he’s been pretending to be reading while waiting.  Perplexed, Jared watches Chad pull a bottle of small bottle of champagne out of his lab coat.  He pulls out two paper cups, pours the champagne into them and hands one to Jared.

 

“This has been a great day.”

 

Jared stares at him dumbfounded, he really regrets going to Chad for this. “Champagne? In an examining room? Chad, this is pretty unprofessional, even for you.”

 

“It’s a special occasion, drink up!” Chad says, then stops, swiping the cup out of his hand. “Actually, I’ll drink yours, you shouldn’t drink. You were right.”

 

“What? That’s it? You’re supposed to be a doctor Chad.”

 

“You came into my office and said you felt pregnant and I just said you were right.”

 

Jared’s stunned, happiness making his eyes water. “I’m pregnant?”

 

Chad grins, and then lets out a very un-doctorly whoop, grabbing him up into a celebratory hug.   “I’m saying you’re knocked up! Congratulations.”

 

 **43**.

 

Jared’s been singing horrifically terrible pop songs all day, high off of his own joy, as he cooks and bakes. By dinner time, the house is filled with the savory scent of roast venison and mashed potatoes when Jared hears the telltale jangle of Jensen’s key in the lock.

 

As Jared’s stirring the brown gravy, warm hands slide around his waist.

 

Jensen inhales deep, kissing just below his ear. “Hello, mate.”

 

“Hey, yourself.” Jared leans back into the touch, a flutter of excitement nearly causing him to drop the spoon in the pan. “How was your day?”

 

“Pure shit.” Jensen steps back and takes his coat off. He drops it on the chair opposite his. “I just wanna eat, maybe fuck and sleep through the weekend.”

 

“Very romantic, alpha.”

 

“Too tired to be romantic.” Jensen gives his best pout knowing Jared can’t resist. “C’mere.”

 

“I’m finishing dinner.” Jared comes over and gives him a quick peck anyway, dodging Jensen’s grabbing hands. “Sit still, I’ve slaved away in the kitchen all day.”

 

“So now I’m the progressive alpha chaining you to the kitchen sink? At least you’re not barefoot and pregnant.”

 

The joke catches Jared off guard but he forces a laugh before setting the table and serving dinner. He has a very specific way planned to tell Jensen about the baby and he won’t settle for less. Jensen eats his roast and potatoes with gusto, all the while telling Jared about his hellish day.  It’s hard to listen when he’s sitting on such big news, but he has to. Jared clears away the dinner plates, before bringing out dessert.

 

“I know you like pie but it wouldn’t work for this, so I called your mom and went with your second favorite: vanilla bean cake with almond frosting.”

 

Jensen lifts a brow, “Is it my birthday?”

 

“Something like that.” Jared sets down the cake in front of him so Jensen can see there’s something spelled out in pink frosting.

 

The icing reads: Congratulations, Daddy.

 

Jensen gapes at it for an abnormally long period of time before tipping his head back to catch Jared’s eye incredulously.  “Does this…are we? Are _you_?”

 

“I am.” Jared nods and his smile spreads as he tracks Jensen’s joyous reaction. “You’re going to be a father, Jen.”

 

Jensen sits up so fast his chair falls backward. “Fuck, yes!”

 

“Again so eloquent, alpha.” Jensen kisses his dimples and Jared clings to Jensen, laughing when he swings him around and kisses him between broken words of excitement and love. “I love you.”

 

 **44**.

 

So far, pregnancy has been treating Jared well. He tires easily but finds himself filled with short bursts of energy throughout the day. Because he’s been waiting so long to have his own family, Jared finds that he embraces even the less pleasurable aspects of pregnancy like the nausea, back aches and heartburn.  The cravings are the fun part, well; actually, the fun part is the look on Jensen’s face when Jared wakes him in the middle of the night for cottage cheese.

 

More pressing than all his symptoms however are his other wants. Lately, all Jensen has to do is blink in his direction and Jared’s ready to jump his bones. It’s a natural thing, common for expectant omegas but very inconvenient for Jared whose husband is away for most of the day.

 

Just as Jared’s stomach grumbles Jensen comes into the living room, plastic bag in hand.

 

 “Sorry, all they had was the store brand rice pudding, is that okay?”

 

All thoughts of eating pizza rolls dipped in rice pudding evaporate from Jared’s mind the moment he see Jensen’s messy product free hair and the black leather jacket he’s somehow acquired on his way out.

 

“What’s that?”

 

Jensen frowns, “Your pizza rolls and pudding.”

 

“No, that jacket.”

 

“You like it?” Jensen flexes, “Still unpacking my winter shit in the garage and I found--”

 

“It’s very, very sexy.” Jared grabs Jensen by his shirt to tug him forward for a kiss. “As a matter of fact, your leather jacket is doing all sorts of things to me right now.”

 

“Wanna fill me in?”

 

“Don’t know,” Jared brushes his fingers down Jensen’s abs to rest against the front of his pants. “Just something about seeing my alpha all dressed up like a rebel.”

 

“I’m listening.” Jensen’s eyes are laughing, heat slowly building as he lifts Jared forward and onto his lap to straddle his thighs. “Tell me more.”

 

“It makes me excited,” Jared rocks down on his lap, feels the growing bulge beneath him and whimpers when Jensen grabs his hips and forces him against him harder. “Makes me feel hot and…hungry.”

 

At the word Jensen lifts a brow, tongue dragging over his bottom lip sensuously, “Hungry for what?”

 

“You know what.”

 

“My knot.” Jensen slides his hand over the back of Jared’s jeans, lets one finger move beneath. “Your hungry hole wants to be filled by your alpha? Show me how bad you want it.”

 

“God, yes.” Jared’s usually embarrassed, more reserved, but the natural need is too great.

 

Like a bitch in heat, Jared scrambles off of Jensen’s lap and tugs down his pants, moving over the back of the couch to present his ass.

 

“Damn, Jay.” Jensen’s voice is gruff, “Didn’t think you would-”

 

“Fuck me.” Jared moans and Jensen hurries to do just that. He spreads Jared’s cheeks roughly, index finger moving to Jared’s entrance.

 

“You’re sure this is okay-”

 

“It‘s fine, won’t hurt me or the baby.” Moving his hips back, Jared braces himself, gripping the couch top. “Just get inside me!”

 

The first thrust in makes Jensen cry out, a broken gasp that Jared responds to with his own groan. He only gets about halfway in, the slick not being sufficient. It burns but Jared encourages him moving back against him and begging for more until Jensen rocks forward not stopping until he’s buried balls deep. Once he’s seated it’s like Jared goes wild, fucking himself on Jensen’s cock in rapid bursts. It’s quick, dirty and mind blowing.

 

“Holy shit,” Jensen groans, panting over Jared’s sweaty back. He’s still coming, Jared hanging off his knot as he‘s filled. “That was amazing.”

 

“Yeah,” Jared moans even as he squeezes down on Jensen’s cock. “And we‘re going to do it again.”

 

Jensen’s out of breath, “Again?”

 

“And then rice pudding.”

 

Jensen chuckles but begins to grind against him anyway.

 

**45.**

 

Since he started to show, Jensen’s taken to talking to Jared’s belly every night, right after Jared takes a shower and before they go to sleep.  Jensen will rub cocoa butter on to Jared’s skin gently, and then lay his cheek over his growing belly.

 

“Hi, sweetheart.” Jensen says against the tight curve, palm flattening against either side to cradle their child. “It’s Daddy.”

 

Jared smiles down at him, smoothing Jensen’s blond hair away from his face. “She’s kicking.”

 

“I can’t feel anything.”

 

“Chad says you should be able to feel it in another couple of weeks.” Jared mollifies, “But I can feel her, she likes your voice.”

 

Jensen looks happier than a little kid who’s been told Christmas is coming early. “Really?”

 

“She goes crazy when you’re around.”

 

“You think she recognizes me?”

 

“She does, and she loves her Daddy already.”

 

Jensen traces a fingertip around Jared’s navel, “I’m nervous, you know, I’m not good with kids like you are. All the children love you, it’s like you’re more popular than Santa Claus around here.”

 

Jared catches his hand and kisses the back of his knuckles, “You’ll be fine,”

 

“Jude still hates me and it’s been _months_ , the rest of Jeff’s kids aren’t too fond of me either. The only time they like me is when I’m carrying five pounds of candy… I just want to be ready for her, make her proud to have me as her Dad.”

 

“Trust me," Jared finds Jensen’s insecurity endearing. “Any child would be lucky to have you.”

 

“There are classes, parenting stuff and all that. Plus my mom’s been giving me some great tips—”

 

Jared kisses him, “Baby, you’ll be fine; we’ll be fine.”

 

 **46**.

 

Jensen’s in the middle of a meeting when his secretary interrupts apologetically. The moment she says Jared’s name, Jensen panics, he can’t help it. All he does is worry lately; worry that something may go wrong with the pregnancy or Jared will be hurt.

 

Jared’s pacing his office floor when Jensen comes in, gait unsteady without his cane but he doesn’t look hurt or scared.

 

“What’s the emergency?”

 

Jared pulls Jensen’s hand to his burgeoning stomach. “This.”

 

Jensen goes still confused for a moment before he feels it, a thump beneath his hand.  Wonder bursts through him, elation making him almost giggle at the thrill of it. “She kicked me!”

 

“ _He_ kicked you actually.”

 

“What?”

 

“Chad said she has a penis.”

 

“W-what?”

 

Jared grins. “It’s a boy!”

 

“You found out the sex? I missed that?” Jensen’s crushed, with work he hasn’t been able to attend each and every appointment but they’d agreed he’d be present at the landmark ones; like hearing the heartbeat, and finding out the sex. “But I thought…damn it! I’m sorry. I should’ve refused to meet with Daniel--”

 

“It’s okay, Jensen. I was just too impatient.” Jared flattens his hand over his belly, and Jensen loves every flutter his _son_ gives. “I really wanted to know.”

 

**47.**

 

An omega shower never particularly interested Jared even when he was younger. It was usually something the female omegas gushed over more than the males. So Jared follows tradition and lets Matt take over all planning and preparations.  Matt lives for creative things like this and as time passes, his enthusiasm proves contagious. Remarkably, Jared finds himself getting excited about his shower as the date approaches.

 

When the day finally arrives, all of Jared’s dreams are fulfilled. Their backyard has been transformed into a miniature circus. Matthew has chosen a vintage circus themed omega shower and he’s done a spectacular job.  A vibrant red, yellow and turquoise palette brings the theme to life. The numerous small touches of Matt’s painstakingly handmade banners, booths, tickets and posters make the guests feel like they’ve stepped into another time.

 

All of the guests get involved with the planned festivities. There’s juggling, dancers, and circus acts being performed on the small stage and the children are already gathered around a magician who’s flanked by a brightly painted clown.  Ulysses and Jupiter are even dressed for the occasion smart glittering boy ties attached to their collars.

 

As the sun sets, it feels more like a party. Men and women from the pack are in attendance, dancing and yelling over the music. There are a million fun activities, including face painting, a mustache and tattoo station, ring toss, juggling, sack throw, a photo booth, a weight lifting contest for the girls and a cartwheel contest for the guys.

 

“This is amazing.” Jared hugs Matt, pulling him away from another one of what Matt insists is an emergency. “Matt, you’re the best.”

 

“Jay!” Matt pulls away, groaning when Jared holds fast. “Can’t talk, we ran out of miniature hotdogs. Chad ate about sixty of them.”

 

“That can wait; Jensen wants to say our thank yous.”

 

Matt pulls a face and Jared pinches him in warning.  Even after all this time the relation between his best friend and mate is strained because of what happened with Grant.

 

“May I have everyone’s attentions please?” Jensen says into the microphone and all the guest quiet down. “So this is the part of the evening where I express my sincere thanks and gratitude for all of ya’ll being here and supporting Jared and me as we start a new chapter of our lives. Special thanks to Matthew Cohen, who meticulously planned this day and made sure everything, and I mean everything, was perfect for Jared. ”

 

“See.” Jared whispers, ruffling Matt’s hair, “We’re all moving on.”

 

“I’m glad.”

 

Jared looks out into the sea of faces; watches his mother and father smile encouragingly at him, Chad looking far too earnest, the kids grinning, cheeks sticky with sugar. Skipping over all the well-wishers, his eyes land on Gen. She’s dressed in a white dress, hair in a low ponytail and is actually wearing lipstick. It hasn’t escaped his notice that she’s been talking to a young alpha all evening, Brian, the son of a council member. She’s giving him a thumbs up and Jared thinks maybe she’s been waiting for this, has put her life on hold because she wanted him to be happy first.

 

Jensen turns to Jared, “Babe, any other words?”

 

And Jared has so many things he wants to say, so many thanks to offer, but he’s too choked up, too happy and too touched to do much more than smile.

 

 **48**.

 

Jared’s spent all week preparing for the Ackles’ arrival. No matter how much Jensen assures him that he doesn’t need to make a fuss, Jared is overrun with nerves. He wants Jensen’s family to like him so badly. Unfortunately, his huge belly doesn’t exactly make cleaning easy. The added weight strains his already sore leg.

 

Jensen comes home and steps off the foyer rug.  “Please tell me you haven’t spent all day—“

 

“Shoes off at the front door! How many times do I have to remind you?”

 

“The house looks like a museum.”

 

Jared ignores him and continues to wipe the mahogany bureau with a wet rag.  “It’s called being clean.”

 

“I keep telling you--”

 

“I know: don’t make a big deal out of it.” Jared kneels down to get a hard to reach corner and his leg gives out suddenly. He stumbles and Jensen is by his side in an instant, grousing about over doing it and being careful.

 

“I’m fine.” Jared says tightly, righting himself. His bad leg has been aching all day but there’s no time to rest. He wants his in laws to know that he can keep house, be presentable. “Just give me a second--”

 

Because the universe hates Jared, the doorbell rings right then.

 

 Jared’s eyes fly to Jensen’s in horror, he's still wearing his ratty, black sweat pants and oversized grey tee shirt littered with grease stains. His hair is held back with a handkerchief and jared just knows he looks like a wayward orphan! certainly not someone who deserves to marry in to the blonde Brady bunch. “Your parents are here! Early! And look at me--shit, I haven’t even started dinner.”

 

“It’s fine, sit down.” Jensen orders, “I’ll show them in.”

 

“No! I can’t be the cripple to them all ready, not on day one.”

 

“Jared, you’re hurt…”

 

“I’ll be fine.” Refusing to take his cane, Jared limps to the front door Ulysses trailing after him with worried whines. He takes a deep, steadying breath and opens the door, practiced friendly smile pasted on his face.

 

To his utter shock Jared’s immediately yanked forward into a tight embrace, passed about from blonde to blonde as they all speak over themselves in excitement. Jensen wasn’t lying when he said his family was overwhelming.

 

Even better, they’re welcoming.

 

“Mom, Dad! Come on, you're worse than the damn dogs when the doorbell rings.” Jensen strides forward, pulling Jared back. “You’re going to make Jared regret inviting you here. I’ll do the honors, Jared this is my Mom and Dad, and from left to right Joshua, who you know, Tyler, Jason, Ashley and Carly.”

 

The next few minutes are spent on introductions and settling the Ackles in to the guest bedrooms. They never stop talking, joking and yelling and teasing one another. Jared watches it all wide eyed, he’s an only child and his home, while loving, has always been much quieter.

 

With all the grace of a southern belle,Donna hijacks his dinner plans, barging into the kitchen and providing aid with the steaks and roasted potatoes before he can even protest. She even whips up a homemade blueberry barbeque sauce that’s so good it makes Jared’s toes curl. While she cooks, Donna and Alan engage him in conversation, bringing in a chair for him to sit on. The action is compassionate; and Jared knows it’s not pity but care that makes them do so. Everyone helps out: Ashley sets the table, Kyle chops a garden salad, Tyler takes the dogs out with Carly…Jared can’t believe he was ever worried about these people rejecting him.

 

“Come here!” Donna yells when Jensen comes down stairs, patting her lap. “I’ve missed you, tush grabber.”

 

“For god’s sake, Ma,” Jensen’s turning red, “I’m thirty three.”

 

“Uh-oh.” Carly exchanges a look with her sister, “You’ve done it now.”

 

“I think he does it on _purpose_.” Ashley chimes. “Loves the attention.”

 

“I do not!”

 

Donna looks thrilled even as Jared is a bit lost. She waggles a finger at Jensen. “You know the rules.”

 

“Ma, seriously?”

 

Alan chuckles warmheartedly and whispers conspiratorially to Jared. “She always does this.”

 

“Don’t judge me.” Jensen tells Jared as he walks over to his mother and to Jared’s complete astonishment sits on her lap. “My mom is a lunatic.”

 

“Climb up on my knee, sonny boy,” Donna sings, slim hands holding fast to Jensen’s waist. “Even though you’re _thirty-three_ , sonny boy.”

 

Jensen’s face is bright red and Jared laughs until his side aches.

 

“You've no way of knowing, there's no way of showing, what you mean to me, Sonny Boy.” Tyler wolf whistles and Jensen looks like he’s about to spontaneously combust.  “When there are grey skies, I don't mind the grey skies. You make them blue, Sonny Boy. Friends may forsake me, let them all forsake me, I still have you, Sonny Boy.”  
  
Alan starts singing along, “You're sent from heaven and I know your worth—“

 

“Oh God, Dad, not you, too.”

 

Carly and Ashley jump in, and they sound like a chorus. “You made a heaven for me here on earth. When I'm old and grey dear, promise you won't stray dear, for I love you so Sonny Boy.”

 

Jared applauds at the grand finale, even though Jason’s high note makes him wince. The Ackles truly are one of a kind.

 

“Okay, Mom.” Jensen stands, and takes an impromptu bow for Jared. “That’s as much as your guilt is getting you tonight.”

 

“Mom used to sing that to all of us when we were kids.” Tyler explains, “Rule is that whenever you say your age, she can cash in on a song.”

 

Donna lifts a shoulder, “I wouldn’t have to resort to this if they would still willingly climb on my lap; they used to love it when they were kids.”

 

“And now you’ll have the new baby to force on your lap.” Carly gushes, before looking at Jared. “We’re so excited to finally have a nephew! We all thought Joshua would mate much sooner.”

 

“My first grandchild.” Donna sighs blissfully, “I’m going to be a grandmother…you wouldn’t happen to be building your den?”

 

“Yes, he is: in _Montana_ , Mom.” Jensen answers before Jared can. “Jared picked a room in his parent’s home.”

 

Donna frowns, “But there are so many rooms here.”

 

“You know that Jared can’t help his instincts, an omega always gravitates for the places he feels most safe and secure to give birth. This house is still entirely too new to him.”

 

The slight displeasure disappears and Donna pats his hand warmly, “I’ll go get dessert, you don’t move a muscle.”

 

**49.**

Five weeks after the Ackles fly back to Dallas, Jared wakes in the middle of the night to sharp pain lancing up his spine in waves. Instinctively, he curls in on himself, inhaling sharply as he‘s jerked out of a sound sleep. Jared tries to breathe through it, tries to remember what the midwife has told him but the panic is rising as steadily as the pain. When he feels wetness drip between his legs, Jared gives a low shout and pushes the sheets off of him.

 

Jensen is awake in an instant, reaching for him. “Are you okay?”

 

“The b-baby,” Jared struggles to breathe, “My water broke…”

 

“Okay.” Jensen turns on the bedside light, strips the sheets from the bed before he helps Jared to his feet. “I’m going to call Chad and then we’ll get you to your birthing den, okay?”

 

Jared nods, clutching his belly. He feels calmer thinking of his den, the place he prepared to give birth. It may be the wolf inside of him but Jared won’t feel safe until he’s ensconced by those four walls.

 

Four hours later, Jared’s panting through hard labor and Chad is kneeling in front of him, mask on and eyes far too serious over it. The birth canal had formed hours ago; Jared had felt himself open, felt the skin tear to give way for the child. The pain is worse than he expects and all the breathing exercises he’s learned aren’t doing shit. Sweat pours from his brow, soaking his clammy skin and mingling with tears. For the first time Jared feels like he can’t do this, no matter what Chad or Jensen says.

 

Another hour and Jared feels possessed, the sheets are too heavy, the den too packed. He sends his parents out and that leaves Jensen, Chad and his nurses. When he tries to push Jensen away however, he refuses to leave.

 

“Almost there, Jared.” Chad presses Jared’s knees apart and back, instructs the two aides to hold his ankles. “I’m going to need ten pushes from you, when I say the word, hard as you can.”

 

There’s nothing Jared can do but obey, Chad’s voice is surprisingly steady, keeps him calm when he can’t focus on anything else but the unbearable pressure on his pelvis. He pushes eight times and on the 9th, the baby expel from his body.

 

The room is quiet for a split second before it’s filled with the kitten cries of his son. The baby is rubbed down hastily before being laid across Jared’s chest. Beside him, Jensen is crying and kissing Jared’s cheek as his big hand touches their son’s little back.

 

The pain doesn’t disappear, no, Jared remembers it all too well contrary to the old wives tales of forgetfulness, but he looks at his tiny pup and knows he would go through the ordeal all over again.

 

Jared kisses his son’s warm, wrinkled forehead tenderly. “Welcome to the world Aaron James.”

 

**50.**

Trying not to show how nervous he is, Jensen sets the baby carrier down on the ground before holding the front door of their house open for Jared. He’s way out of his depth even though the last eight and a half months have led to this-- all the trips to Babies R Us, the baby shower and doctor’s appointments-- Jensen feels like he blinked and they landed here: coming home from the birthing den with their newborn son; a little human who is going to depend on them for everything.

 

It’s _terrifying_.

 

Jared steps inside after him, one hand gripping his cane tightly and eyes immediately seeking out their son in his carrier.

 

They both freeze at the sound of the dogs.

 

 “Did you remember to let out--”

 

Jared’s question answers itself as Ulysses comes rushing forward from the living room running full tilt and barking loudly. Ulysses rears up on his hind legs, big paws hitting his forearm, nosing at Jared and barking even louder when he doesn’t receive the usual good scratch behind the ears.

 

“Jensen!” Jared calls just as Aaron begins to wail at the noise. “You were supposed to let the dogs out before you picked us up!”

 

“Sorry.” Jensen grabs Ulysses by his collar with one hand and Jupiter by hers with the other. It takes a while but he leads them to the backdoor. The dogs clearly don’t want to go, and crowd against the deck looking at him with big forlorn eyes. “Puppy eyes aren’t going to work today, guys; run off some of that steam and we’ll get you inside when Aaron calms down.”

 

When Jensen gets back, Jared’s taken Aaron out of his carrier and is sitting on the couch, rocking their son who, by his loud cries, is not a fan of barking dogs.

 

Jared looks relieved to see him, “Can you get me the pacifier?”

 

Jensen rummages through the overstuffed diaper bag to no avail. As the seconds tick by, Aaron grows louder and redder, spitting up milk.

 

“Jensen! Just dump the fucking thing out.”

 

“Fine.” Fatherhood is making Jared much more demanding. Jensen over turns the elephant print bag on the couch. Burp cloths, onsies, baby lotion, manicure kits and other ‘essentials’ rain down but no pacifier.

 

“Is it in there?” Jared’s now pacing and he looks very uncomfortable. “I thought we packed it.”

 

“Babe, sit down.” Jensen clears away some of the clothes, “He’s not going to slow down, might as well get comfortable.”

 

“What do we do?”

 

“Panic?”

 

“Not funny.” Jared looks down at their son, “Maybe he’s hungry?”

 

“Think he’ll latch on? Or should I try to make a bottle.”

 

“No! I um…I mean.” Jared flushes, “We don’t have any pacifiers upstairs?”

 

“It’ll be fine.” Jensen encourages. He knows Jared has been discouraged at the faltering attempts at breastfeeding in the birthing den but Chad had recommended that they keep trying.

 

Jared unbuttons his shirt reluctantly, shifts the baby closer into the position Chad’s lactation specialist had shown him. It’s not instantaneous but it’s a damn near close thing, Aaron stops crying, sounds muffled as Jared tries to get him to latch on.

 

After a few false starts, Jared makes a tiny sound of surprise, and then beams up at Jensen, hair falling over his face and dimples peeking out.  “He’s doin’ it? He’s doing it, Jensen!”

 

The happiness that Jensen sees on his mate’s face makes him giddy. He reaches out to tuck a long strand of hair behind his ears, “I can see that.”

 

“It’s the strangest sensation, but I can already understand why so many omegas chose to do this; it feels right.”

 

“You’re so beautiful.” Jensen leans down to kiss Jared’s cheek, before brushing one to his son’s velvet warm cheek. “I’m going to clean up a bit; house seems stuffy.”

 

“Wait! Should we run his bath or is it like swimming and we have to wait thirty minutes or something? Do you remember what your mother did with Carly?”

 

“It should be fine--”

 

“How do I know if he’s getting enough milk?”

 

“I don’t know.” Jensen considers them. Aaron’s nursing with both eyes closed, a tiny fist curled against Jared’s chest. “He’ll stop?”

 

“Would you hate me if I called my mom right now?”

 

They‘d  agreed to go through the first days  at home with Aaron together, focus on their little family before opening themselves up to anyone else; _including_ their parents. But now, seeing the fear and hesitation in Jared‘s eyes, Jensen can see that decision has to be changed.

 

“Go ahead.”

 

“Can you call?”

 

“I’ll call her right after I run the bath.” Jensen leans down to kiss the top of Jared‘s head reassuringly, “Relax, you’re doing fine.”

 

“Thanks,” Jared smiles, “Love you.”

 

“You, too.”

 

 **51**.

 

Sharon arrives in less than ten minutes; it’s as if she’d just been waiting of them to call. She arrives with cashmere blankets, velveteen stuffed animals and other “necessities” she just happened to have with her. Jensen can picture her sitting in her front parlor in the dark, just waiting for their call.

 

“Don’t worry, sweetheart.” Sharon enfolds Jared in a hug, hands caressing his hair. “I have everything under control.”

 

“I just need to burp him.” Jared says, turning Aaron over and rubbing his back while Sharon talks him through the simple task smoothly.  When Aaron does burp, Jared’s entire face lights up and Jensen can’t help but smile with him.

 

From there, Sharon takes over, a soothing presence for both of them. Even though they’re getting help, Jensen doesn’t remain passive, taking pictures of Aaron’s first bath and first diaper change at home; all the embarrassing moments Jensen never understood the importance of before he had his own child. Jensen is even more grateful to have her when Jared takes a shower because he’s faced with anther diaper change this one substantially messier than the first and Sharon does it for him.

 

**52.**

 

Their first day from the birthing den comes to an anticlimactic end. Aaron is asleep, has been for the past four hours. His little rose bud mouth is parted and his white mittened hands are stretched up by his ears. Jensen really hopes he’s having sweet dreams. He already wants the best for his little guy.

 

“Jen?” Jared gives him a tired smile. “Wanna bring the dogs back inside?”

 

They’d researched the best way to introduce the dogs to the new baby.  According to the books, they needed to choose a quiet room, sit down with the baby while one of them leads the dogs inside and then they let the dogs sniff the baby’s feet.

 

“Remember, don’t be nervous or agitated, the dogs will pick up on it and we want them to associate happy feelings with Aaron.” Jensen reminds him before leaving to rescue his exiled pups.  

 

“Alright guys,” Jensen opens the child gate they used to keep the dogs in line. Ulysses and Jupiter, apparently cowed by their afternoon exile, come in carefully. Jensen gives them plenty of scratches and hugs to brighten their mood. “So this is the deal. We’ve got a new addition, and you both have to treat him nice or Jay is going to make you spend more time outside.”

 

Jensen leads the dogs in slowly by their leashes. They’re curious, tails wagging and pulling on their leads but this time they don’t bark or jump. Aaron is sleeping on Jared’s lap, yellow blanket pulled back from his white socked feet.

 

“Ready to sniff some toes, boys?”  Jensen asks and Jared laughs.

 

Jared pats Jupiter’s neck when she comes close. “You’re ridiculous.”

 

The dogs look up at him, tongues lolling out. Jensen pats Ulysses neck and they move forward, nose against Jared’s knees, and sure enough they’re sniffing the blanket and Aaron’s feet.

"I think they like him, baby." Jensen kneels down nex pt to Jupiter, and she licks his cheek, tail wagging happily. Ulysses is just as smitten, expression similar to the one he gets when Jensen brings out a treat. "Scratch that, they love him."

**53.**

 

“Look at his squishy face.” Jared coos at their son down at his lap. “My little turtle.”

 

Aaron’s laying on Jensen’s chest, eyes half-mast as his unfocused gaze flickers around the bedroom. Neither of them could bear to leave him in the nursery, and even the co-sleeper feels too far away. Jensen’s glad that Chad gave them the basket. It fits snugly between them and they can check on him as many times as they need to.

 

“Hey, babe?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Who do you think Aaron looks like?”

 

Jared readjusts Aaron’s white mitten dotingly, “Your brother.”

 

“That’s so fucking wrong, Jared.”

 

Jared grins, settling against the pillows with a tiny sigh. “He looks like you, asshole, even though I did all the work.”

 

Jensen perks up, “You think?”

 

“Aaron has light hair and green eyes; so yeah, you.”

 

“I love him so much already; I’d give anything to keep him safe and happy. Is that weird?”

 

Jared smiles, “It’s normal…and very adorable, Daddy.”

 

“The sexy has officially been taken out of that word.”

**54.**

 

Jared’s awake before the first cry; he’s heard the tiny sniffles that precede his son’s tears. He’s reaching for him even as he sits up in bed, pushing the sheets back when the real crying begins.

 

“Sh, Ari.” Jared lifts his baby out of the bassinet, kissing his cheek. “Papa’s here.” Jared’s never thought he’d be able to say those words, that he’d have his own baby to hold, love and soothe. “What’s wrong, my prince?”

 

Jensen rolls over onto his back, eyes still closed, “He alright?”

 

“Perfect.” Jared replies, rocking the baby slowly as he quiets down. He unbuttons his shirt, bringing his boy to nurse. A pro now, Aaron latches on quickly and Jared settles back against the pillows, staring down at his sons smooth brow and closed eyes. When he breast feeds Jared feels connected to his son in a way that's inexplicable, it's like they're the only two people in the world. Knowing that his body provides all the sustenance Aaron needs is incredible and humbling.

 

Jensen runs a finger over Aaron’s cheek as he nurses in greedy little pulls. “Look at him go.”

 

“He must’ve been hungry.” Worried, Jared looks at the clock, “But I fed him three hours ago.”

 

“He’s a pig.” Jensen retorts, earning a glare from Jared.  “Wants to eat forever.”

 

“No matter.” Jared hums softly to his baby, eyes only for him. His son smells like sweet talcum powder and his small weight is a treasured thing to bear. “He can have whatever he wants.”

 

“I love the way you are with him.” Jensen whispers, trailing a finger down Aaron’s cheek. “There’s no other person I would want this with.”

 

“Really?”

 

“I never pictured any of this… a family, a house, being a pack alpha, before I met you.”

 

“So what are you saying?” Jared asks softly, “It was love at first sight?”

 

“Yeah.” Jensen lays back against the pillow, smiling up at Jared with his incredibly endearing bed head . With one hand he traces the arch of Aaron’s tiny bare foot, “I guess that is what I’m saying.”

 

**55.**

 

Swaddled in his nest of soft yellow blankets, Aaron gurgles softly looking up at the mobile with wide green eyes watching the tiny white horses go round and round above him. His hands twitch at his sides reaching for the figurines but never grasping them and jared stifles a laugh at his efforts. It’s hard to believe Aaron is three months old today.

 

“Jay?”

 

“In here.” Jared calls out and at the sound of his voice Aaron goes wild, limbs flailing. Jared smiles, palm resting against his stomach, “Do you like hearing Papa’s voice, Ari? Do you like hearing Papa's voice?

 

“Sorry, meeting ran late.” Jensen kisses him a hello. “Ready to go?”

 

“You don’t want to change first?”

 

Jensen looks own at his grey suit and light blue tie, “Too formal?”

 

“It’s a _family_ dinner.” Jared stresses, “Wear jeans and a shirt.”

 

Instead of going to the closet, Jensen bends down to blow a noisy raspberry on Aaron’s cheek. “Hey, little man.”

 

Jared shakes his head, hiding a smile. He knows that Jensen is going to be useless for the next ten minutes at the very least. So Jared goes into their bedroom, leaving father and son to bond. When he comes back, Jensen is holding Aaron, waving a plush, blue teddy bear in his face while Aaron follows his movements with bewildered eyes.

 

“He has my crazy hair.” Jared says sheepishly, smoothing down the soft baby hairs sticking up at the back of Aaron's head. “Here, jeans and a shirt.”

 

Jensen sets Aaron down in his cradle, “I _knew_ you liked how my ass looked in these.”

 

“You have two minutes to get changed, Jen. Keep an eye on Ari, I’m going to take the bread pudding out of the oven, let the dogs out and then we really do have to go.”

 

 **56**.

 

The entire family descends upon them when they come into the Padalecki house. It doesn’t help that they’re the last ones to arrive and thus have the room’s full attention. This is also the first time many of his family members have seen Aaron.

 

“Oooh! Come to Grandma-ma!” Aunt Moira plucks Aaron out of Jensen’s arms without even asking and pinches his cheeks. “You’re just the _sweetest_ little boy I ever did see.  Yes you are! Look at those big eyes, and that button nose! He looks just like my Aa--”

 

“Just like your Aaron?” Jared finishes; he’s wanted to keep his son’s name a secret until he could tell her face to face. “That’s because his name is Aaron.”

 

“Oh, Jared…” His Aunt’s eyes fill, “You don’t know what that means to me.” She hugs him tightly and still manages to slip a five dollar bill into his pocket amidst all the tears and joy.

 

As always, family dinner is loud and delicious, but surprisingly there are no arguments. Aunt Moira is too enamored with her ‘namesake’ to go after Matt and as a consequence, the mood is purely lighthearted.  The herb roasted lamb, wild rice and vegetables prepared by his mother, Uncle Jed and Kerry-Ann are impeccable, relieving numerous compliments.

 

Dessert consists of Jared’s old fashioned bread pudding and pecan ice cream which is taken in the living room. Everyone crowds inside, Jared taking his customary seat on the floor in front of the hearth. Jensen lifts a brow but squeezes down into the empty spot next to him with Aaron when he sees everyone doing the same.

 

The same old stories are told but everyone laughs as if it’s the first time.

 

From the protective cradle of Jensen’s arm, Aaron lets out one of those baby shrieks that are always unnecessarily loud and nonsensical during his uncle Jefs story. Aaron gurgles reaching for his feet to suck on. Everyone ohs and aws, expressions fond and filled with love for the little pup they’ve only just met.  

 

This is family.

His family.

 

As his father speaks, Jared leans closer to Jensen’s side, resting his head on the alpha’s shoulder. His mate slings an arm over him tucking him close before kissing his cheek absently. It’s hard to believe that his life is not a dream.  After _years_ of emptiness and pain, he’s gotten his happy ending.

 

This time, when everyone goes their separate ways, when the dishes are cleared away and goodbyes given, the peace doesn’t leave.

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
